peter kenny : the notebook

At last in flesh and blood...

2012-01-24T11:50:00.002Z

This arrived hot off the press this morning. Rather exciting!

Clameur: The Words

2012-01-18T18:27:00.003Z

After some humming and hawing Matt and I decided not to include the words as part of the CD packaging. However the booklet is available as a free download on the Pollard & Kenny site.

It contains all the words for This Concert Will Fall In Love With You, Clameur and Minotaur.

AnotherSun Recordings

2012-01-15T11:08:00.001Z

I appear to have launched a record label.

I never saw that coming!

Clameur Launch 11 February 2012

2012-01-12T09:31:00.000Z

The Clameur album launch will be on 11th February 2012 at the Unitarian Church in New Road Brighton. For those that know Brighton this couldn't be more central, and is the big church with classical columns a few doors up from Brighton's Theatre Royal and opposite the Dome Box Office and Mash Tun pub.

The concert will feature all the musicians on the recording, (Glen Capra, Cem Muharrem, Tom Norell and Adam Bushell) and due to the highly emotional and love-lorn nature of "This Concert Will Fall In Love With You" (which dominates the album) we have timed the album launch to be just before Valentine's day.

We have also asked The Shakespeare Trio who feature Shakespeare's sonnets and great guitar as our support.

Personally I am excited by the whole thing, and also nerve wracked. Will have my hands on the actual CD within two weeks. We are making personal invitations to the launch, but if you'd like me reserve a seat for you, simply email.

Coleridge and Dejection

2011-10-10T09:22:00.005+01:00

Re-reading T.S.Eliot's the Use of Poetry and the Use of Criticism, specifically his essay about Wordsworth and Coleridge. Here Eliot makes a memorable assessment of Coleridge.

...for a few years he (Coleridge) had been visited by the Muse (I know of no poet to whom this hackneyed metaphor is better applicable) and thenceforth was a haunted man; for anyone who has ever been visited by the Muse is thenceforth haunted.

Although Eliot distances himself from the idea of a Muse, by calling it a hackneyed metaphor, it's easy to understand intuitively what he means. Having a more pedestrian approach, I think it more likely that he was not abandoned by a Muse, but instead possessed by exhaustion and the burnout caused by drug addiction, persistent poverty and illness.

Eliot says Dejection: an Ode is "one piece of his formal verse which in its passionate self-revelation rises almost to the level of great poetry." This is slightly damning it with faint praise. But as I'd not read for many years, I discovered it to be heartbreakingly lovely in parts.

There was a time when, though my path was rough,
This joy within me dallied with distress,
And all misfortunes were but as the stuff
Whence Fancy made me dreams of happiness:
And fruits, and foliage, not my own, seemed mine.

It is the 'not my own' which is the pin in the balloon here. I am also drawn to a passage about the wind, which shows another glimpse of Coleridge's trademark opiatically Gothic imagination. This is a hellish vision that would not be out of place in Dante. The poem is dated 4th April 1802 but this is a nightmare Spring in which hope is absent.

Hence Viper thoughts, that could around my mind
Reality's dark dream!
I turn from you, and listen to the wind,
Which long has raved unnoticed. What a scream
Of agony by torture lengthened out
That lute sent forth! Thou Wind, that rav'st without
...
Mad Lutanist! who in this month of showers,
Of dark-brown gardens, and of peeping flowers,
Make'st Devil's yule, with worse than wintry song...
...
'Tis of the rushing of a host in rout,
With groans, of trampled men with smarting wounds-
At once they groan with pain, and shudder with the cold!
But hush! There is a pause of deepest silence!
And all that noise, as of a rushing crowd,
With groans and tremulous shudderings--all is over--

The poem ends with him picturing the woman he loves, and wishing gentle sleep on her, after a vision of a lost girl "Upon a lonesome wild". All rather traumatic stuff, written long after the Muse was supposed to have packed its bags.

Minotaur

2011-10-07T15:49:00.001+01:00

Here is a video I shot for the short track Minotaur on my forthcoming CD with Matthew Pollard called Clameur. Whipped quickly around Brighton with my flip camera. Rather pleased with the result...

The Shakespeare Trio

2011-10-06T13:03:00.007+01:00

Well my pals The Shakespeare Trio have just released their first CD. The band is made up of Dipak Chanda and Richard Gibson, as well as the ghost of Shakespeare of course who provides all their lyrics. Like all brilliant ideas, Richard's notion of setting all the sonnets of Shakespeare seems to be rather a mad one at first. But with Dipak Chanda lending wonderful guitar work and with Shakespeare as their muse the project has grown from strength to strength.

I have another connection to The Shakespeare Trio, as they are labelmates of mine, or rather the Matthew Pollard & Peter Kenny collaboration of which readers of this blog are familiar on AnotherSun Recordings.

You can buy The Shakespeare Trio's album on CDBaby. Meanwhile why not have a listen to a couple of their tracks for free here...

Laughing at hypochondriacs

2011-09-21T09:31:00.003+01:00

I've always been interested in taboo subjects. One of the challenges I most enjoy in marketing is to work out how to talk to people about the thing they least want to talk about. And what do we normally do when we don’t want to discuss things? Stay silent, or laugh about it.

Here’s an example. A man visits his doctor, and tells her that he’s suffering from a long list of illnesses. ‘The trouble with you,’ says the doctor. ‘Is that you’re a hypochondriac.’ ‘Oh God,’ says the man, ‘don’t tell me I've got that as well.’

Everyone has a hypochondriac moment once in a while: that disturbing palpitation, the stabbing chest pain that mysteriously disappears after a burp. But imagine being imprisoned for years by the certainty that you had a life-threatening condition. However much reassurance you received—or how many times you saw the doctor—once you returned from the surgery you’d already be convinced that you were still ill.

Laughing at hypochondriacs is a comedy staple. In the classic Edwardian novel, Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome, one of the characters finds a medical dictionary in the British Library and begins thumbing through it:

“I sat for a while, frozen with horror; and then, in the listlessness of despair, I again turned over the pages. I came to typhoid fever - read the symptoms - discovered that I had typhoid fever, must have had it for months without knowing it - wondered what else I had got; turned up St. Vitus's Dance - found, as I expected, that I had that too, - began to get interested in my case, and determined to sift it to the bottom, and so started alphabetically - read up ague, and learnt that I was sickening for it, and that the acute stage would commence in about another fortnight. Bright's disease, I was relieved to find, I had only in a modified form, and, so far as that was concerned, I might live for years. Cholera I had, with severe complications; and diphtheria I seemed to have been born with. I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.” (Three men in a boat, Chapter 1 by Jerome K. Jerome)

And today there is a whole new generation of hypochondriacs, the so-called ‘cyberchondriacs’ who spend their time trawling the outer reaches of the Internet for information to support their privately-hatched dire diagnoses.

The real problem with hypochondriacs is that they are almost always treated as a joke. The reality is that hypochondria appears to be a manifestation of severe anxiety. Just because something is all in the mind doesn't mean the symptoms are not experienced as real things for anxiety can cause dizziness, palpitations, tingling arms and legs and so on. But the psychological components of hypochondria can create anxiety and lives only half-lived in the shadow of persistent fear.

Once erectile dysfunction was considered taboo, at best joked about. But times as we know have changed. But not enough it seems for something as common as hypochondria to still be seen as a joke; and the hypochondriac someone to be ridiculed. Only rarely is it acknowledged as the life-warping anxiety it really is.

Below: detail from The hypochondriac by Thomas Rowlandson

Unpacking the Pack of 3

2011-09-08T08:19:00.005+01:00

The Pack of 3 nights at the Marlborough at the end of August were well-attended and well-received. In fact Tarik, one of the Theatre managers, has asked for something for the fringe next year.

The second night of Pack of 3 evening was better than the first. The fact that there was so much going on in everyone's life: me moving house, the actors all off to study: Beth and Callum acting and Mark writing plus holidays, work commitments and so on meant that rehearsal time was very compressed. Also our sound and lighting person was only able to give us an hour or so before the opening made for a nervy first night.

The evenings featured three short plays, Wrong, our strongest piece from the March shows. We ended the March shows with Wrong, and where it was recieved as a pure comedy. This time, as an opener, the darker existential side of the play seemed to come to the fore. The characters of two young people deciding to become actors, who then find a corpse under the table became less comic and more darkly absurd. The audiences were absorbed.

Mark wrote the second piece Pirates Anonymous, and I am full of admiration for him. A fine piece to have written at any age, let alone 19, was about a dysfunctional family whose son takes on a Pirate persona to express his filial rage is a wonderfully theatrical device. The second scene was a self-help group for Pirate obsessives, with the boy attending and reaffirming his vow to be a pirate. Mark used a good deal of pirate language to spice up the text and this gave a really good flavour to the piece. This combined with Mark, Beth and Callum's huge piratical roaring enlivened the audience somewhat (and made the endless piratical roars of rehearsal well worth it).

The last piece Betty the Spacegirl drew some lovely physical performances from the actors. I had written it in a hurry, but it worked. The actors brought some excellent physical comedy to it too, and the costumes were fantastic. Essentially the story is that Betty the Spacegirl lands on a plant containing only male, somewhat rubbish looking aliens, with antennae. After a while the action is stopped and you see the characters bickering in the guise as actors. The piece is about communication failing, and slightly mocking the idea of Men are from Mars etc. It also had Callum as a transvestite alien, which was good value in itself.

I am working on another play for Christmas, called Sophie and the Angel, which has a strong concept. Next time I am going to more hands on about managing the play and its marketing, as the theatre did next to nothing to promote it until the last few days. My key learning: try not to do everything at the same time.

The great redeemer in all of this were Beth Symons, Mark Gandey and Callum McIntyre. The cast brought enormous energy, enthusiasm and managed to pull the show out of the hat brilliantly. I am fairly certian that when I am in my dotage, I will be croaking to anyone who will listen from my bath chair that I once had a couple of plays performed with these three stars in it. And nobody will believe me.

Recording Clameur

2011-07-11T08:39:00.006+01:00

Writing this a week after the recording sessions for the CD Matt and I are putting together. We recorded the tracks in St Michael and All Angel's church in Brighton, which was the same venue that we premiered the main piece This Concert Will Fall In Love With You in the Brighton Festival Fringe in May 2010. Matt was in love with the acoustics there, and our recording engineer Simon Scardanelli loved the sound there too, and made a point of recording the silence which for all kinds of philosophical reasons I loved. I remember when we first performed the piece marvelling at how the sound from Adam's vibraphone being bowed hung in the air for seconds, like a giant wineglass being rung with a wet finger.

Musicians were Cem Muhurram, on violin, Glem Capra on piano, Tom Norrell on marimba, and Adam Bushell on vibraphone (and marimba on Clameur track). I noticed that Adam had brought a patch of carpet to stand on. Matt and I had socked feet to prevent floor squeaks. This could not prevent the odd car going past or, this being Brighton, the yarps of stray seagulls.

The recording went smoothly, and the playing was splendid on This Concert. We doubled back at took various takes, but this was very different to how I'd read about how rock bands record. As everyone knew what we were peforming and knew our pieces we sailed through it. The choir, present in the last few variations, were sounding confident too. I had naturally been rather anxious about my own part, but I was pleased with how my performance went. Simon gave me some kind of vintage microphone which made my voice sound better, and I had a slight sore throat too, which may have worked in my favour. However we'll have to hear what we have when Matt and I start the editing process with Simon in a couple of weeks.

The two choral pieces Found, and Clameur were then recorded, while I ran through Minotaur with Glen. This was literally a last minute piece, Matt had finished the score for the morning of the rehearsal, after we'd talked about it a couple of weeks ago. By 9:00pm everyone was a bit shattered, and all of us were all quite keen to get to the pub. Full of a slightly crazed energy, Glen and I did Minotaur in one take, which for a novice like me was exhilarating. And what we recorded was the first time the piece had ever been played right through.

Next steps are to work with Simon and start to create a definitive sound for the CD. I have also been working on designing the cover, employing some photos that were taken by the excellent Adrian Turner at our final pre-recording rehearsal.

Pack of 3

2011-06-27T22:35:00.005+01:00

The Marlborough Theatre Brighton again is the venue for my next thespy business on the 26th & 27th August. Pack of 3 will be three short plays. My Wrong and Betty the Spacegirl, plus Mark Gandey has an excellent idea for a pirate play, which is as yet unnamed.

As before the three actors will be Beth Symons, Mark Gandey and Callum McIntyre. I wrote Betty the Spacegirl specifically for these three, and it is great when you have pre-cast the roles, as you can hear the actors in your head saying their lines. Both Betty the Spacegirl and Wrong are comedies with dark hearts.

I am also planning a Christmas Play, and have already cast one of the lead roles. More news of this nearer the time.

Amazed

2011-06-24T11:38:00.007+01:00

So rehearsals for the Clameur CD continue apace. Last night I heard the song Clameur sung for the first time by a choir and it was an emotional moment. Matt's music is brilliant, and to sit in a room in Brighton hearing a song with my words about Icart Point in Guernsey seemed a like a dream.

Matt has decided to drop Adam from these recordings and we have set ourselves the challenge of turning around another piece very quickly. This is likely to be Minotaur and will be based on an old poem of mine. Matt and I have had some interesting discussions about the relationship between the words and music. For there are some God-awful experiences of poetry combined with music. There has to be a balance between the music illustrating or commenting on the words, and creating an environment for the words. In the Minotaur piece, we are discussing the idea of being more contextual, that the music creates the maze in which the minotaur finds itself. Here is the poem.

Minotaur

Forehead gored by migraine;
pain has sharpened my senses.
I hear mosquitoes in the garden
there are clouds of them conspiring,
one for every promise.

You promised me this garden
somewhere private; somewhere lovely,
now it's empty bar some black dog
whose hairs I find everywhere.
And still I sense it panting
among the sculptures, fin de siècle,
made by someone very clever.

Rose-choked, the garden walls break
over the cracked slabs. I tread petals
I make the divine slime of rose heads
the ecru of ex-white petal falls.

Or I listen to the radio
snorting with uncontrollable laughter
or I read my leisurely books
near the ornamental fishpond;
the copper-coloured fishpond;

the one I can never look in.

One of the consequences of having is a CD is that you need a label. And I am going I think to create one. This idea leads to the idea that with a label we could include other acts, which is why I find myself in exploratory talks with Richard Gibson of The Shakespeare Trio, who have embarked on a project of putting Shakespeare's sonnets to music. I am a big fan, and theirs is another high concept project, not unlike the work Matt and I have collaborated on.

I also think good Karma is important, and I have talked to The Sussex Beacon about donating a portion of the income to them. In return they are able to give us another platform to publicise the event. My background in considering ethical partnerships between charity and a business led to this idea.

Below Matt conducting singers.

It's 'Clameur'

2011-06-09T14:31:00.012+01:00

So Matt and I have agreed our CD will be called Clameur. This is the title of one of the choral pieces Matt based on my poem of the same name, which appeared in A Guernsey Double. Clameur means a cry or plea, and there is an ancient legal procedure still extant in Guernsey law called Clameur de haro. But the idea of a heartfelt cry certainly fits the empassioned nature of the main piece This concert will fall in love with you too.

Matt has begun to rehearse the choir for the three choral pieces. They have already started tackling Clameur and Adam. Last night we got together with Cem Muharren (violin), Adam Bushell (vibraphone), Tom Norrell (Marimba) and Glen Capra (piano) for our first pre-recording rehearsal for the longest piece This concert will fall in love with you. I was a bit twitchy beforehand as it is a year since we performed it for three nights only. But although a bit rusty, I felt I was picked up the threads fairly well and mostly finding my cues.

As ever a humbling and fascinating process working with professional musicians. Although everyone was relaxed and cheery, nobody messed about and biffed straight into it. I find it exhilarating, and a good antidote to the often solitary life of a writer.

Atrial fibrillation and stroke

2011-06-08T14:58:00.002+01:00

It is quite galling that as I mostly work commercially writing about health, that much of the stuff I do is of a confidential nature, or that you'll only get to read it if you have a specific medical condition. However a large website I wrote earlier this year will be launched this year too. I have spent the last couple of days writing follow-up material.

Funnily enough the excellent writer Kate Rontree, who I have worked with several times over the years, has been rewriting bits, and incorporating client amends. Fate has led us to rewrite each other's copy for about fifteen years now. Funny how some things don't ever seem to end. Good thing we're great mates.

I will post a link here when the campaign goes live. In a nutshell the advice is to talk to your doctor, as AF can cause blood clotting so you may need to take something to prevent this.

My howler is a Bob moment

2011-05-25T09:48:00.004+01:00

Like most right thinking people, David Lynch is one of my heroes. Twin Peaks is one of my favourite TV experiences, an immersive world with its own codes. In it there is a mad killer called Bob, who drives a much of the narrative, and he came about by sheer accident. The actor Eric Silva was working as a set dresser, here's what Lynch says about it in 'Catching the big fish', an excellent book by the way.

"Frank was never destined to be in Twin Peaks, never in a million years. But we were shooting in Laura Palmer's home and Frank was moving some furniture around in her room. I was in the hall, underneath a fan. And a woman said, "Frank, don't move that dresser in front of the door like that. Don't lock yourself in the room.

And this picture came to me of Frank in the room....So I said, "Frank, you're going to be in this scene."
We did a pan shot of the room, twice without Frank and then one time with Frank frozen at the base of the bed. But I didn't know what it was for or what it meant.

That evening, we went downstairs and we were shooting Laura Palmer's mother on the couch..... So I said "Cut-perfect-beautiful!" And Sean said, "No, no, no. It's not."
"What is it?"
"There was someone reflected in the mirror?"
"Who was reflected in the mirror?"
"Frank was reflected in the mirror."
So things like this make you start dreaming. And one thing leads to another, and if you let it, a whole other thing opens up.

Anyway it came to me in a flash that my recent 'howler' could be a blessing in disguise. There is some talk about refraction and things not seeming to be where they should be in Defenders of Guernsey. And my 'mistake' described a mirror image channel islands, where things that should have been east were actually west and so on. A perfect explanation for this has opened up in my mind for the second story. Suddenly that howler looks more like a stroke of luck.

Pollard & Kenny CD preparations

2011-05-24T10:38:00.007+01:00

Beginning to get things ready for the recording of our CD. Matt has been tying musicians down to rehearsal dates, which is a tricky and difficult job. I meanwhile have been reviewing the words of This Concert Will Fall in Love With You and making a few minor tweaks.

The CD will have four pieces on it "This concert..." which has a theme and 12 variations. And three choral pieces: Found, written originally for the Rainbow Chorus, which they are recording for their own CD. Our version will have different instrumentation. Then there isClameur, a setting of my poem from A Guernsey Double which Matt has turned into a fascinating two-movement piece starting with angularity and vocal representations of being on the tube train, which later resolves into gorgeousness.

The final piece started life as a choral exercise, Et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis. This translates as And on earth peace, good will toward men which Matt told me is something of a standard text for choral pieces.

I am beginning to love the music which has a brooding, ambiguous quality. Listening to the soundfile gave me a strong vision of leaves for some reason. And lately I have become keen on listening to the sound of wind through trees. I have rewritten the piece, and have called it Adam, and sent it to Matt to see what the maestro makes of it. This is our first piece where the music came first, so it will be interesting to see if I can demonstrate as much sensitivity as Matt has.

We're also thinking about a name for the CD too. This concert will fall in love with you, is rather long, This CD will fall in love with you too crassly commercial perhaps. I like Clameur, but I am still unsure.

Rehearsals start next month. I can't wait.

Howler

2011-05-20T09:05:00.005+01:00

If I have learned anything from Defenders of Guernsey it is not to rush out a publication. Just before I went to bed last night I noticed a complete howler in the printed text. It is a scene where Archibald is explaining to Skelton about the geography of the channel islands. Now I could draw you the geography of the channel islands blindfolded. A brain glitch made me type west instead of east, so I had Herm and Sark to the west of Guernsey and Jersey to the south-west. Where of course Herm and Sark are to the east, and Jersey to the south-east.

A completely inexplicable mistake. Given that one of the whole reasons for the book was to make it authentic this makes me feel a complete chump. Luckily as the first print run is almost gone, I think I will reprint with corrections.

Hugely embarrassing though.

Launching 'Defenders of Guernsey'

2011-05-19T08:54:00.005+01:00

Defenders of Guernsey is a short story of about 12 thousand words I launched at the Guernsey Literary Festival. I had been invited there to talk about Skelton Yawngrave, a character I have created and am finalising a novel about. So that I didn't turn up empty handed, I decided to write a shorter story with this character, but based on Guernsey. Luckily for me, this format worked really well for the character, and I was able to cram in a good deal of action in a very short space of time. It is too early to say how this has been received, but the kids seemed to like it.

I have two short story sequels plotted. Invaders of Guernsey, and Liberators of Guernsey. And I am basing the story on Guernsey legend, as well as a ghostly goat called La Biche who lived in La Rue des Grons where I used to live. This is slightly in reaction to The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society which, although a runaway success, had little of the real Guernsey in it and annoyed me. I feel churlish having briefly met Annie Barrows who is lovely person, as are Mary Anne Shafer's daughter and son-in-law.

My strategy is that I have given three schools these little books, and it seems I may be invited back. It seems to me self-evident that you have to start forging relationships with schools if you are launching fiction for children.

I had a blast doing it too, although I felt quite nervous about it. And as we were doing the work in the hub in the Market Square in Guernsey I had to incorporate the chiming of the town clock into the story, and got the schoolchildren to participate by making ghostly goat noises, which was enormous fun for everyone. The children from Vauvert and Le Muriel schools were absolutely delightful too.

Another thing I've learned is that if you have a girlfriend who can fix up the laptop and deal with technical things while you mince about wringing your hands nervously this is also a boon too.

Guernsey Literary Festival

2011-05-18T16:44:00.008+01:00

The first Guernsey Literary Festival seemed to me to be a success. I think the benefits of this festival will be immense in the long term. If Guernsey is an island that, with its many other blessings, is seen as a place where writing and culture happen, this can only enrich the lives of its people and greatly encourage a new generation of visitors.

For my part seeing the faces of the children from Vauvert and Le Murier schools light up with delight when I began telling them an adventure set where they live, made the whole trip worthwhile. I donated books to these schools and to St Martin's primary too.

It was excellent to secure the backing of Barclays Wealth. It was a win-win too. Good for the sponsors because from a PR perspective, they have an image problem they need to fix. Projects of this sort that reach benignly into the island should be exactly what they should be looking for.

For my own part any time when Richard and I manage a BBC radio appearance and three poetry readings to promote the A Guernsey Double is a success in itself. I was also able to launch Defenders of Guernsey in two sessions with schoolchildren, attend a poetry cafe reading with some fine poets, and meet people like Annie Barrows, Edward Chaney, Sebastian Peake, Caroline Carver and Tim Binding, do some protracted networking on the island, and know that the best part of 160 Skelton Yawngrave stories are now in the island's schools.

Thanks to the Guernsey Literary Festival I returned home full of a revived interest in writing and performing, in Mervyn Peake, in the poetry of Caroline Carver, the singing of Olivia Chaney and with new friends made and old friendships strengthened.

Well done Guernsey. And well done folks like Catriona Stares, Richard Fleming, Jane Mosse and the many others who dedicated enormous time and effort to the whole thing.

JKT on BBC Guernsey

2011-05-05T08:19:00.003+01:00

Richard Fleming and I will be on the JKT show on 12 May at 10:30am.

Jenny Kendall-Tobias always amazes me with the eclectic mix of subjects she effortlessly deals with from poetry to pig farming. Jenny been a true supporter of our work. I'm also looking forward to flirting with her again on air.

Diva - Brighton Open House, Powis Grove, Brighton

2011-05-04T08:12:00.006+01:00

I was lucky enough to have a preview of some of the work on display at Diva on the Seven Dials Trail as part of this year's Brighton Open Houses. It is the first one curated by Dr Janet Summerton.

You'll find Diva on the Seven Dials Trail and it features an intruiging and eclectic mix of work - vibrant textiles, some extraordinary ceramics, rocking pots, Italian mosaics, paintings and photography and more. It will prove to be a lively new addition to the Open Houses season.

Diva is at 1b Powis Grove, Brighton BN1 3HF, is open 12-5pm on May 7 &8, 14 & 15, 21 & 22, 28 & 29.

Below painting by Margaret Hamlin and ceramics by Jutka Fisher.

Guernsey Literary Festival

2011-03-25T09:45:00.005Z

Here is a link to the festival website, showing an excellent range of events. A great effort from Catriona Stares and her team, to get this up and running for the first time on the island.

To see me here's my timetable:

Thursday 12 May
3:00-3:30 at the Festival Hub, reading from a Guernsey Double with Richard Fleming.

Friday 13th May
9:30-10:20, and 10:30-11:20, Fesival Hub, Skelton Yawngrave children's workshops.

3:15 at the White Horse Writers Group in Les Cotils, reading from a Guernsey Double with Richard Fleming.

Saturday 14th May
12:30-1.00 at the Festival Hub, reading from a Guernsey Double with Richard Fleming.

A bite to eat

2011-03-18T12:58:00.001Z

Here is one of my sketches from the first half of the Wrong show. Beth Symons and Mark Gandey are the Zombies. Callum McIntyre is the corpse.

Bah.

2011-03-12T12:56:00.000Z

Runner up.

Pighog poetry competition

2011-03-11T09:38:00.004Z

I'm not usually one for entering competitions of any sort, but I entered a Pighog competition as they are a local Sussex-based publisher with a good reputation. I have been to one or two of their events in the past, and thought it was a good way of raising my profile in the off chance of success.

Rather pleased then to have been invited to a poetry prizegiving night tonight in Lewes, having been shortlisted. The theme of the competition was Root and Branch. I wrote the following poem very quickly, as I had misread the closing date, and thought it was a month earlier.

It is another poem about Guernsey. It is imagining a mother in the last year of the Occupation thinking about her children who have been evacuated to England. This actually happened to my Grandfather's mother, whose name was Zelia, although everyone called her Toots. My Grandfather and his parents stayed in Guernsey during the Occupation, but some of his younger siblings were evacuated off to England.

Root and branch

There’s marching in the Guernsey lane,
my table’s bare, the pattern’s clear:
they will starve us after curfew
they will break us at the table.

I scrape aside the hedgerow scraps
to float along the willow road
to distant bomb-pocked England
near a city I've never seen

where my children stay with strangers
and, forgetting all their patois,
they turn in skies of fractured glaze
and trill their songs with English tongues.

Each night the doves return as crows
and I’m harrowed root and branch
as they bayonet their places
and their mother stands accused

for I tore them from their garden
and I knotted them with labels
like a cherry shedding blossom
I dropped them from my stupid limbs.

Prizegiving is tonight. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Wrong at the Marlborough Theatre Brighton

2011-03-05T14:07:00.006Z

After a two day trialling my play at the Marlborough theatre I am delighted with how things went. It has resulted in lots of positive outcomes. From my perspective there was confirmation that the play works and is funny. There was lots of laughter on both nights. This made me feel vindicated and happy.

Then there were the actors. Both are 19. Mark Gandey gave a powerhouse performance. I had often seen him in lead roles and was aware that he has a great stage presence was a massive asset. Beth Symons however was the biggest revelation. Whenever I have seen her act she has had to make do with fairly uninspiring roles. I had always suspected that she had real comedy talent, but I had my expectations greatly exceeded: she is fantastic. Her timing is impeccable and she has a physical comedic presence that can make people laugh with just a change of expression. You can't teach that kind of thing, and everyone was full of praise for her afterwards, and I felt really pleased I had created a platform where she could shine.

Our first half was a collection of short sketches we used a piece written by Mark Gandey. This is his first performed piece as a writer, and it was done excellently by Callum. I think Mark has real potential as a writer, which is good news as he is off to study comedy writing in the new academic year.

I am a control freak when it comes to my artistic projects, but this time I let go and by trusting the young cast they felt an empowered ownership which produced excellent results. Perhaps even better, the theatre manager talked to me afterwards about putting more work on there. So watch this space. Learnings all round then, and a real confidence boost for me.

Below: the programme.

My Guernsey Literary Festival schedule so far

2011-03-03T08:53:00.007Z

On Friday 13th May (not at all worried about that date)I shall be leading a session on writing for children in a large tent erected in the Festival Hub. There is a school party of 60 booked on it from Le Murier School, where some of the children have complex needs. Again I'll be out of my comfort zone but I am very much looking forward to this. I also have a secret weapon in my glamorous assistant Lorraine, who as someone currently on a head teacher's course could come in very handy.

Also on the 13th Richard Fleming and I are reading at the Les Cotils Centre at 3:15 at the White Horse Writers group Writing Course. Richard and I will also be doing a reading in the Hub during the weekend, but these times have not yet been confirmed. But I can't wait to be back on the island for this!

Recording 'This concert will fall in love with you'

2011-03-02T11:06:00.000Z

We now have a date, 2nd July, for recording This concert will fall in love with you.

We will record the piece where it was originally performed in St Michael and All Angels church as the accoustics were fabulous there. The sound pooled and hung in the air, which due to the Matt's instrumentation of marimba, vibraphone, piano and violin means the notes seem to hang in the air for a long time. It sounds beautiful. Luckily the Tacet Ensemble members have agreed to be on the recording too. I am so excited by this.

Interestingly weather might be a factor and if it is really windy this could affect the recording or lend it an unpredictable atmosphere. I can't wait for the recording to be in the bag so people can hear how beautifully it worked, and how it repays hearing again.

The Toad and The Donkey

2011-02-28T23:49:00.001Z

Just a quick update to say that I received a note from Geraint Jennings that his book with Jan Marquis 'The Toad and the Donkey' is now published. More information here.

Here is an excellent poem in Channel Island French by Geraint, and its translation below.

À ces sé

La lueu du rêsèrveux blyînque blianche au bliu du sé;
lé couochant lanche des pétales d'rose sus les côtis.
Du haut du mont jé d'vale – l'alanchie dans l'èrfliet
d'la mathe tchi m'fliatte atout eune fliotte dé caûques-souôthis.

Et j'pâsse par des fôssés endgèrrués en nièr,
entouortilyis dé veîl'yes dé r'lié et d'amèrdoux.
Les rêvacheurs d'la niet en vithevardant d'travèrs
ont voltilyi par 'chîn, par là – des vielles d'avoût.

La batt'tie d'ches néthes ailes a libéthé man tchoeu:
rôdant les c'mîns à la r'vèrdie, j'touônne en ouéthou.
Les pétales sont pouôrries et n'yées dans la nièrcheu;
les caûques-souothis ont chuchi l'rouoge d'la séthée d'v'lous.

Tout veint à fîn: un jour, un c'mîn, un tchoeu tchi bat,
les dreines lueuthes d'eune séthée, man soûffl'ye et man suffat.

This evening

The light of the reservoir blinks white in the blue of the evening;
the sunset throws rose petals on the côtils.
From the top of the hill I descend – diving into the reflection
of the pool which caresses me with a flock of bats.

And I pass by the hedgerows overgrown blackly with ivy,
entwined with field bindweed and woody nightshade.
The dreamers of the night zigzagging across my path
have fluttered here and there – summer whirlwinds.

The beating of these black wings has freed my heart:
roaming the roads at dusk, I turn into a shapeshifting spirit.
The petals are rotten and drowned in the darkness;
the bats have sucked the red from the velvet evening.

Everything comes to an end: a day, a road, a beating heart,
the last tatters of an evening, my breath and my burden.

Creating a brand that doesn't lie or overpromise

2011-02-28T09:54:00.007Z

Recently I have been asked to help create the branding and positioning for a new agency. I will not name them yet as I don't want to jump the gun on their activities. But I do love the drilling down into what makes a business unique and then working out how this can be made to connect with its potential customers.

I've been interested by the thinking of the agency's two founders. I find we are on the same page when it comes to how we think brands should behave, and by a firm rejection of the historical position of brands. You know the one. It tries to pin the bubble of aspiration to a product: buy car x and your life will be transformed into the idealised glamour depicted in the advert. Selling dreams in this way has worked for a long time, and you have to look no further than perfume or cosmetic advertising to see this is still alive and well in some sectors.

Increasingly this approach is threatened by the marketing 'savvy' (to use a word I only hear marketing people employ in real life) now alive and well in the general populace. In western societies this 'Adland' drivel doesn't wash any more and some of the more effective brands realise we are not going to be obediently in thrall to their brands. In short we have grown up and don't look up to brands any more. Of course we can ironically enjoy ads that depict dreamlands, or even be momentarily mesmerised by their beautiful production values, but do we really buy the dream their brand is selling any more?

The foundation for a more honest relationship with a brand is to be truthful. Of course you can be inspiring but you're far more likely to have a longer-lasting and ultimately more profitable relationship with a brand if you haven't sold them a castle of clouds in the first place. Not talking down to people, being inspiring without deceiving and, above all, reaching people in surprising ways is where my interest resides.

'Wrong' at the Marlborough Theatre, Brighton 1st & 3rd March

2011-01-25T19:19:00.006Z

Have finalised dates for these evenings at the Marlborough. Betty and Mark, with their pal Callum doing 'Wrong', which is my short farce involving a corpse, plus another wee piece I wrote recently called 'A bite to eat' which is mainly to do with zombies. Mark is writing some material too and it should be a feast of black comedy.

Tickets available here http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/154027

The Selling of Wilf Gaudion's Field

2011-01-22T15:21:00.000Z

Interestingly, I've been sent a play by Jim Willis, called The Selling of Wilf Gaudion's Field. Jim tells me it was performed at the Beau Sejour Theatre, as part of the Guernsey One Act play festival. Jim was born in Orkney to Irish parents, but has lived in Guernsey most of his life, and ran a horticultural engineering company for 33 years which put him in close contact with the growers.

This contact informs his play, which is rooted in Guernsey matters of property and ownership, and the tomato trade. What strikes me on first reading (and I've not seen this performed) is the effort Jim has taken to faithfully represent a Guernsey way of speaking. Here's a short excerpt:

Doris: Yer, it’s all round the Bridge, your sellin’ to a Jerseyman. That Mrs.Falla from Holmdene, she says you took a lower offer than Tom Duquemin’s. She says you got no soul, sellin' our heritage to a foreigner. When I went in Le Riches, the girl behind the counter never lifted ‘er head once to speak to me, just took my money. There was a Jersey pound note in the change! We’ll have to do somethin’. What’re we gonna do?

Wilf: We’ll go to the bank an draw out all the housekeepin’ this week in crappo money. See if they don’t take it. Besides, Le Riches is a Jersey firm, she’s workin’ for the crappos. (Pause) ….Somebody painted a ‘J’ on the number plate of the truck last night and what’s more, they altered the name of our house from Sevenoaks to fiveoaks.

Doris: If this keeps up, we’ll have to sell up an’ move to bloomin’ Jersey.

Wilf: No fyur, it’d be all crappos to us two donkeys………What we’ll do is ask Mr.Critchlow to put an ad in the Press to say the field’s still for sale, that way they’ll know it’s not sold to anyone.

Doris: Is anyone else interested in buyin’?

Wilf: Not yet, but Mr.Critchlow is bringin’ someone around later, says he has cash in hand. That sounds dodgey to me, wot if ‘ees English, or French, we’ll have no friends left.

Doris: I’m off to Lilly to help ‘er bunch,…by the way ther’s a letter come…yer…. cheerie.

Island Ink interview

2010-12-11T10:28:00.003Z

Guerney's Island Ink magazine edited by Gabi Nodes is a source of great encouragment for new writers on the island. Here is a short interview they did with me in the December edition.

Can you tell us a bit about your background and how you started writing?

I live in Brighton, but still think of Guernsey as home. My late grandfather David Marquis was a Guernseyman and the true father figure in my life. Homesickness started me writing when I was 14 and living in London. I finally noticed the family’s mould green typewriter, and transformed my scrappy mawkish poetry about a misunderstood teenager brooding on the cliffs into neat lines. There must have been a spell cast on that typewriter as I have been a writer ever since.

My first poetry publications were at 22, so clearly I was a genius. As a genius it took me ten years doing casual labour in warehouses and factories, writing and performing by night before it occurred to me that I was stone broke and was spending far more time worrying about money than writing.

So what did you do?

I became a copywriter. I have written everything from TV adverts for dog and cat charities, to health advice for men on Viagra. Making a living from writing taught me not to be precious about waiting for the perfect moment. To be a writer you have to write, and if you show up regularly at your desk ideas will eventually show up too.

What have you had published?

It slowly adds up: over 100 poetry publications, plus short stories, journalism, essays, reviews and blogs. A Guernsey Double, my collection with my friend Richard Fleming, is strongly about a shared love of the island. For me it was like coming full circle and I am incredibly proud of that little book, and the work Richard and I did in it.

I write plays. The Testament of the Man who could see through walls, first staged at the Water Rats Theatre in Kings Cross, was about a religious fanatic. Wrong is about a young couple who discover a corpse under their kitchen table, and it may be staged again soon in Brighton using young actors.* I played the corpse in its first performance. I’m not sure, but I have a feeling I was brilliant.

Lately I have been taking my children’s novel Skelton Yawngrave in the Second Kind of Darkness into two Brighton schools and discussing it with nine and ten year olds. The first morning was possibly the most terrifying time I’ve had with my clothes on, but it got easier. Based on their (alarmingly frank) feedback and book reviews I am doing a final fine-tuning. The children absolutely loved it – but trying to get a publisher in these risk-averse times is hard, but to me making children laugh seems the noblest ambition.

What are you working on right now?

A collaboration with classical composer Matthew Pollard. Our first piece This concert will fall in love with you ran for three nights during the Brighton festival. Now we are working on a mini opera. Matt has opened my ears to startling music like Schoenberg and Bartok, and I’ve loved working with frowny-faced classical musicians.

Anything else readers would be interested to know?

Writing about Guernsey goes back at least as far as The History of the Kings of Britain by Geoffrey of Monmouth, written 1121-51. I want to publish an anthology of writing about Guernsey from Geoffrey (if not before) to the present day. As readers of Island Ink we are part of an amazing tradition, one which I am hoping to honour. You’ll find more info at http://www.anthologyofguernsey.com.

* Since this went to print the staging of Wrong has been firmed up, and will almost certainly be staged at the Marlborough pub theatre in Brighton on 1st and 3rd of March. More details on this site later.

Success

2010-12-08T09:03:00.008Z

Of course the trick to having a successful year is to decide what success looks like on your terms.

For me to be successful this year I have sought a happy medium between business and other creative projects. It's simple: if I neglect one, I don't eat, if I neglect the other my head explodes.

Happily I have eaten and my head is still intact. So here's what a successful year looks like to one Brighton-based writer.

I have earned enough money through my work with agencies to finance my craving for time. This year agencies have tended to invite me to work on pitches or as cover for absent creative directors. A few months ago I was offered a creative directorship but turned it down. I was flattered but not tempted.
The publication of A Guernsey Double, written with Richard Fleming, was supported by the Guernsey Arts Commission. For a writer, the buzz of seeing your name on a book's spine is hard to underestimate. And it has directly led to several radio appearances, and readings with Richard booked for next year's Guernsey's first Literary Festival. Also it compelled me to spend time in Guernsey, the place I love most in the world
My collaborations with the composer Matthew Pollard have given me the opportunity to work in a completely different field. Our first work together, called This concert will fall in love with you is due to be recorded next year after its premier in the Brighton Festival Fringe this May. More performances are also planned for next year. Our second work together a short piece called Found written for Brighton's Rainbow Chorus, and given its premiere in the World Aids Day concert on December 1st. Matthew and I are now working on an Operatic piece around a doppelganger theme which will be performed next year. Learning these new skills is rejuvenating and fascinating. While working with classical musicians has been an extraordinary experience, and the prospect of becoming a recording artist at 51 is extremely cheering.
I have put in the hard yards on my children's novel Skelton Yawngrave. I had the opportunity to workshop it in two Brighton schools, Downs Junior and Stanford Junior, has proved a fascinating experience, leading me to drastically revise the story. The experience of talking to children about literature and the process of creating characters has led directly to me also being booked to lead some children's sessions at the Guernsey Literary Festival.
My short play Wrong will probably be given another short airing in Brighton this February. I am particularly looking forward to this as it involves working with young actors.

So there you have it. Although this may seem self congratulatory, there are plenty of things that can be done better, a theme I shall return to.

Foxe's Book of Martyrs

2010-11-25T14:57:00.000Z

Listening to a podcast of the BBC Radio 4 programme In our time, hosted by the excellent Melvyn Bragg about Foxe's book of Martyrs first published 1563. This is a book I'd only vaguely heard about. It contains illustrations of Christian martyrs in the act of being executed. My ears pricked up when one of the contributors started talking about Perotine Massey, a Guernsey woman burned, who gave birth during the awful procedure. The baby was tossed back into the flames too.

Just found these pictures of Guernsey burnings from the Book of Martyrs. Perotine is the top one. "A lamentable spectacle of three women, with a sely(?) infant brasting out of the Mothers Wombe, being first taken out of the fire, and cast in agayne, and so all burned together in the Isle of Garnesey. 1556 July 18."

Much more can be found on this matter here on this Guernsey Museums page.

Guernsey Literary Festival May 2011

2010-11-19T17:49:00.003Z

I'm really proud to have been invited to Guernsey's first literary festival. I will be reading from A Guernsey Double with Richard Fleming. Also on Friday 13th May(surely a good omen) I will be running three sessions for younger readers around my children's novel.

There will be some splendid guests, and I will post more information as soon as I get it.

Aids Memorial Concert December 1st 2010

2010-11-17T17:55:00.002Z

Will be going along to the Aids Memorial Concert, at St Mary The Virgin Church in St James Street Brighton. Among others it features Brighton Gay Men's Chorus, Hullabaloo Cumminity Quire, and the Rainbow Chorus.

The Rainbow Chorus are premiering a song Matt Pollard and I wrote for the Chorus called 'Found'. Can't wait to see it performed for the first time.

Guernsey: year zero

2010-10-16T15:02:00.000+01:00

I was sent recently by Tony Gallienne an essay called Guernseyness: In search of a Guernsey Identity (written as A C Gallienne). It is a remarkably thoughtful and sometimes lyrical piece which struggles with the idea of Guernsey identity, and the loss of Guernésiais as the dominant language.

I quote here from the essay, which was a first prize winner in the Guernsey Eisteddfod.

The granite bedrock of communal identity, to use the metaphor again, is language. By this measure I was disinherited from my Guernseyness the day that I was born. And not only me but my generation. Born in the nineteen fifties to Guernsey-French speaking parents we were brought up not to speak our parents’ own language. I heard it all about me – my parents spoke to each other in it – but it was out of reach. I could understand but could not speak. I had been made culturally autistic. I had been made dumb to the language that communicated the life about me. A language which could trace its roots back through the recent trauma of German occupation when, indiscriminate of source, it had incorporated the word kaput (Ch’est tche kaput), back through the centuries to Rollo, the Norman pirate who was given the Duchy of Normandy in 912 A.D., who dropped his Scandinavian tongue (what transmutation of identity was this – perhaps the same as ceasing Guernsey-French in favour of English) and adopted the langue d’Oil tongue of the native population of northern France (A few Nordic words were retained though and remain as part of the now fading language – words like mielles (sand dunes), dehus (dolmens), vraic (seaweed). In the case of vraic it may have just managed to jump into the Guernsey-English idiom and so may survive a bit longer). And further back to roots in the soup of Latin and Celtic and Frankish vernacular.

Guernsey-French was a mature language drenched in the lives that had been lived on the island over centuries, vowel sounds and consonant combinations with no exact parallel in French or English, phrases and sayings which used the local events of life to communicate some essence or other of thought – surely this must be an aspect of Guernseyness; the internal use of reference points – Guernsey culture taking its own experiences to use as expressions of its nature. I found these two entries in the Dictionnaire Anglais-Guernesiais: for the word “lengthy” – “en avant ni but ni fin ‘coum les pereieres de Jacques Ozaunne” (to have no ending like James Ozanne’s prayers) - Mr Ozanne was a Wesleyian preacher; and for the word “paunch”: “aen ventre de Doyen” (Dean’s paunch) – a well known country ecclesiastic of the late 19th Century was noted for the huge size of his belly which gave rise to the
expression.

And yet for all its vigour and history Guernsey-French has been given up without a struggle; pushed away, consciously severed, broken by the twentieth century. Guernésiais was vibrant but unprotected, a peasant language of unwritten rhythms and syntax which has had no shield against the long deep night of evacuation and occupation (what tests of expression to maintain the native tongue), and then the long attrition of the homogenising onslaught of the last fifty years. When I was born my parents, early in their adult lives, already knew that their own language was fading and that their children’s Guernseyness was going to be different to their own.

Their decision not to teach me the patois would sever a link with unknown ancestors. I was to become the ancestor of a new inheritance, of a new Guernseyness. My birth year was Year Zero.

A close shave for the British Skin Foundation

2010-09-01T15:13:00.009+01:00

Following my recent post in this blog about this outfit, I tore this press advert from The Observer last weekend.

This "Charity" (sorry "organisation" according to the ad copy) is nakedly being used to sell the product. And take a look at the relative sizes of the logos! My previous uneasiness about this is compounded.

Victor Hugo arrives at Guernsey

2010-08-06T15:06:00.000+01:00

The Expulsion of Victor Hugo, by Jean Le Pelley, which originally appeared in the Transactions of La Society Guernesaise for 1970. Contains this glimpse into Victor Hugo's arrival on Guernsey during a storm. I love this portrayal of the great man's trunk with all his writings being in such jeopardy. In this description Le Pelly quotes Victor Hugo's son, François-Victor Hugo (known as Tòto) who wrote an account called Normandie Inconnue.

We looked back to where Jersey must be. Indeed we could just see under the cloud the line of the coast floating on the waters. It slid away and disappeared. We saw another line glowing in the darkness ahead... It was Guernsey! ... against the raging sea our steamer forged ahead, and an hour or so later slowed up, and then halted, in front of a faery like town, picturesquely staged up steep hill slopes... With its old Norman Roofs, with the proud Gallic cock on its church spire, Saint Pierre Port has indeed an air of home for us French refugees, which is indeed irresistible. The very name is a Welcome; remember that Saint Peter keeps the doors of Paradise!

Now all my father's precious manuscripts were in one huge trunk which he could not bear to let out of his sight. In the kind of weather we were suffering it was a terrible decision, that of entrusting all these unpublished masterpieces to a little cockle shell of a boat... Father had to decide to gamble twenty years of work and hand it over to the caprice of the waves. He took that chance.

And we climbed down to the boat that waited at the foot of the gangway, swinging ten foot up to us and ten foot away from us with each wave. Two burly matlows slung the trunk carelessly down, and perched it on the bows of the boat, with no more concern that they would have done with a bale of cotton or a basket of cod.

It was dreadful--for some minutes the trunk wobbled on the breakers... I could see the Contemplations disappearing under ten foot of water. But luckily there is a Providence which watches over Poets. Though the storm raged fiercely, more fiercely than ever, we landed safely on the quay.

Theme and variations one and two

2010-08-02T08:10:00.002+01:00

Like some kind of ghoul, I am usually unfilmable. And the recordings we made of This Concert will fall in love with you all went wrong in mysterious ways --for example the sound files recorded by Glen Capra were on his laptop, stolen in Northern Ireland. But happily we have just fixed the video camera and here is a flavour of the concert: theme and the first two variations.

Back from the book Launch

2010-07-13T09:41:00.005+01:00

Back from Guernsey now after a very successful book launch. Perhaps most enjoyably we managed to get on BBC Guernsey with Jenny Kendall-Tobias twice. She's an excellent radio host and a lovely woman, and we did an entire two hour show with her. What we couldn't have predicted was that she loved our work.

The book launch itself very successful too, and we were introduced by Jane Mosse who did a perfect job, and the event was hosted in The Greenhouse in St Peter Port - and we signed dozens of books right away. There is a buzz about seeing your book in a shop window, in this case The Guernsey Press shop, where we did a signing the next day.

Online, a the first edition of A Guernsey Double is currently available from anthologyofguernsey.com -- and before too long it will be on Amazon too.

Below Richard and JKT in our first BBC interview, me in reception, a book display.

Launching a Guernsey Double

2010-06-28T09:22:00.009+01:00

Flying to Guernsey tomorrow, and while there will be launching A Guernsey Double. Really looking forward to this a great deal.

Richard Fleming and I will be on BBC Radio Guernsey at 10:00am on the 1st July, interviewed I think by Jenny Kendall-Tobias. Then at 5:30pm we will do a launch reading at The Greenhouse, St Peter Port. 2nd July we will be in the Guernsey Press Shop in St Peter Port doing a book signing between 1-2pm. And then a beer may be called for.

Radio streamed live here at 10:00 on July 1st, which should feature an interview with Richard Fleming and me.

A surfeit of locusts

2010-06-21T22:49:00.000+01:00

The publication of A Guernsey Double is imminent. I have been experiencing a weird kind of anti-natal anxiety. I know Richard went through the same thing a few days ago. Not at all what I expected to feel. It's a kind of vulnerability I suppose.

I asked an old friend Mario Petrucci, who has had several books published, and he said by email: Those anxieties you speak of are natural. We spend so long in the wilderness we forget how food tastes. Enjoy it while it's there!

The British Skin Foundation walks the tightrope.

2010-06-15T16:38:00.013+01:00

At least two adverts have blinked across my TV dulled eyes lately, which feature an outfit called The British Skin Foundation. Call me a cynic, but I assumed that this was a made up marketing organisation, but I was wrong.

The British Skin Foundation is not, as its name would suggest, a cadre of Doc Martens sporting neo-fascists, but an organisation that "exists solely for the purpose of supporting research into skin disease". Quite snazzy they are too, with their web presence refreshed by Baigent Digital. According to Mad.co.uk "the BSF provides information and support for sufferers of skin diseases, and conducts research into new treatments and skin-friendly products by companies such as Dyson and L’Oréal".

The British Skin Foundation seems to have 11 "corporate partners", which way back in August 2006, if ...THE WORLD'S LEADING..." blog is to be believed is actually 11 product brands. Four belong to Garnier, for example. Also P&G support the charity.

This clearly is a charity which has opted to climb into bed with the marketing guys from Gillette and elsewhere. But there is a moral dilemma here, and a tightrope to be walked. If these commercial relationships are genuine ethical partnerships, then this is all to the good. In return from the halo effect of something vaguely scientific and worthy being associated with your brand, the corporation gives the charity publicity and money. And if the BSF uses this revenue to genuinely combat excruciating conditions such as eczema then it seems churlish to complain.

Of course this is nothing new. I’ve worked on impotence treatments, for example, which have had relationships with The Men’s Health Forum, and the Impotence Association (now the Sexual Advice Association).

But there is something here which makes me feel uneasy. The British Skin Foundation is being used as a blatant credibility booster for skincare products, and I think this diminishes the credibility of the Charity. It’s one to keep an eye on. See for yourself how the charity is used in this commercial.

Celia Jenkins

2010-06-06T15:11:00.000+01:00

Have been contacted by Celia Jenkins, who is currently studying Creative Writing, and writing about Guernsey. Here is one of her poems...

An Introduction to the Island of Guernsey, with interludes of Patois

What can I say of a local girl?
Well it’s clear al a la langue bian pendue.
(That’s having the gift of the gab, by the way)
Or maybe al est natte troubllaie.
(She’s completely mad? Most likely)
It’s not hard to see that we local folk are of one ilk,
kindred since our day of birth.
From the Neolithic Guerns who sculpted our dolmens,
to the current dwellers on Sarnia,
(yes, that same one from Sarnia Cherie, all together now...)
We are tied by traditions and traits alike.
Ask a Guern a tchi qu'vous navidgai?
and they’ll likely reply that they’re off to milk the Guernsey cows,
or plant more tomato crops.
We the people, crew crowd and kind,
alike in our fishermen’s knitted jerseys
and jaunty berets,
born and bred a fellowship
to a club, a sort who understand our culture and pride,
these things that make us who we are:
Victor Hugo, liberation, lilies, ormers,
bean jar and gauche from the Viaer Marchi,
the little chapel, phone booths and post boxes painted in blue.
We are a band, a gang,
blood, stock and house,
connected by lineage and familiar soil,
our gem of the sea.
A la perchione.

Sam Thompson

2010-06-04T15:14:00.000+01:00

Sam is one of those writers who has fallen under the spell of Guernsey, and has sent me some of his work. I am really delighted that lately more and more writers with a Guernsey connection are becoming interested in the Anthology.

Here is an extract from Ste Marguerite de la Forêt (2006) is the penultimate poem in a sequence of 15 free verse sonnets entitled Church Poems depicting the churches which have featured prominently in his life.

From Guernsey’s rugged south coast cliffs
the Forest parish
Climbs through lanes where sunlight
catches a stream or douit
And crosses the fields of the high plateau.
Here a tower and spire
Rise beside the jumbled houses of Le Bourg:
its walls a jigsaw
Of granite slabs, its cornerstones
once part of a dolmen,
With grass and graves on all sides the church stands
alone in its own walled garden.

Creative gulfs: UK, France and US

2010-05-26T22:22:00.013+01:00

I have been working with two agencies lately. One is a French-owned agency, and I am writing English copy for French companies hoping to infiltrate the UK market. The other is a US-owned healthcare agency, where your creative ideas must be run past creative directors in the New York office. This has given me a fresh opportunity to observe again cultural differences when it comes to agency creativity.

Broadly speaking, the French want what seems to me to be florid, overwrought copy. I find myself being asked to make descriptions even more descriptive, and I have to push back by saying that in the UK if you look like you are trying too hard, people smell a rat. And that copy that's forested with adjectives and adverbs is hard to follow. And, of course, the whole point of advertising copy is that people can read it with minimum effort. To get all Pooh bearish for a moment, I want my copy to slide down like warm honey, not to stick around like chewed thistles.

Unerringly the New York office are drawn to what seem to be, to my UK eyes, risible ideas. Worse still, for pharmaceutical clients anything psychological, or on a human scale is quickly rebuffed. US approved concepts I've encountered are usually visually spectacular: over the years I've seen things like sharks, two-headed dogs to symbolise cholesterol, apocalyptic earthquakes with people tumbling into them to symbolise the dangers of a particular medical condition. But they just make me laugh. To me they like some absurdist Monty Python throwback.

I've spent a fair amount of time in the US and met extremely talented and smart people. What's more they care passionately about the product they are trying to promote on behalf of their client, often in a completely irony free way. I also know that to them UK creative can seem half-hearted, and underwhelming.

It is lazy to say this is about irony. But I honestly believe that this is at the root of a cultural gulf, which as ideas cross and recross the pond in teleconferences, and even in portfolios on planes, can cause a good deal of mutual incomprehension.

A glowing endorsement

2010-05-21T21:58:00.001+01:00

A Guernsey Double is about to be published. This is a project I have dreamed about doing since I started writing over thirty years ago. And at long, long last it is happening, and endorsed by the Guernsey Arts Commission to boot.

Amusingly given the length of time I have been thinking about the project, it turns out I did not have quite enough material. So the last few months have been spent in a frenzy of writing new poems. And while I am delighted with the results, I find I am nervously tinkering in the last few days with the new ones, and still noticing infelicities, which is worrying.

The book is a two person collection of poetry about the island of Guernsey by Richard Fleming and myself. Professor Edward Chaney has been kind enough to write the introduction: "Not since the extraordinarily poetic Book of Ebenezer Le Page has a single volume made the soul of the island so unremittingly its focus", he says at one point. This is clearly rather good.

I have briefed Betsy Alvarez who is providing some excellent cover ideas for us. I am having to pinch myself.

Note to self: do not have the launch event the same day as an England World Cup match.

The end of the affair

2010-05-19T21:34:00.002+01:00

And so... Now that the dust has settled after This concert will fall in love with you. It went very well, with standing ovations and a determination from Matt and I to do it all again, and soon. Frankly I enjoyed dressing up too. I like the whole Victorian melodrama look I went for, despite the purple cummerbund sliding off me during the last performance.

A completely amazing experience for me, who'd never worked with the musicians of the calibre of The Tacet Ensemble before, and I loved every second of it. I was pleased with my own performance, especially on the last night. It has been a long while since I put myself so firmly centre stage, and I have to say it felt great.

From a marketing perspective I learned loads about promoting a concert, which is something I'd never done before. Lots of people who came were alerted through Facebook. However this is clearly means your friends know about it, and doesn't necessarily create a new audience. Also putting on a show in the middle of Brighton Festival meant that there was so much marketing activity that the (comparatively) last minute press releases and so on I sent out were ignored. While flyering generally felt like adding more litter to the piles of promotional material that filled every nook and cranny in all the pubs and cafes and shops in Town.

Matt and I are planning further collaborations, and we have already discussed our options. So watch this space.

Below a snap by Jane Wrin from the final night.

This concert will fall in love with you update

2010-05-03T19:59:00.006+01:00

Nine days to go on the concert. Some rehearsals under my belt and feeling really good about the project. Working with the Tacet Ensemble has been amazing. I had that slightly awestruck feeling of being with a group of classical musicians who are able to simply sit down and play Matt's score, gorgeously, from the off. Matt's music is ravishingly beautiful, and I am finding the whole thing rather humbling.

From a marketing perspective it is interesting too. Part of publicising the concert has been to print lots of flyers. Once you start zooming around town you realise there is hardly a square inch of the place that is not carrying some kind of message. Brighton at this time of year is awash with events. One thing I will do differently with flyers is to put facts at the top of the page. When you stack it on stands you only see the top inch of the flyer, so I've learnt this needs to carry your message.

Anyone who saw my post on Being Brian Eno will know that the fact that Brian Eno is guest director of the Brighton Festival proper is for me a good omen.

I made this little vid more for fun than anything... but it gives a soundbite at least.

Back to school

2010-04-27T20:12:00.001+01:00

Had the opportunity in the last week or so to go into Downs School in Brighton to talk to read some of my children's book Skelton Yawngrave in the Second Kind of Darkness to them, and show them paintings of the characters and so on.

As this was my first time in a school with my story, it was initially a slightly terrifying experience, but soon turned into some of the most useful time I have spent in ages. I talked to four separate classes about the story. I found the children to happy to ask questions, and were very engaged with what I was doing. I also got some written feedback from the children too.

I have another school lined up, who are going to have the year read the book in class. My working theory at present is that I don't want to waste my time sending my story off speculatively in a risk averse publishing industry. I already have written testimony from children that they love the story and would buy it. But this is not enough I need to prove the concept further, and will take it online first. One thing is now certain. I'm not going to take no for an answer...

Tickets for This concert will fall in love with you

2010-03-26T12:02:00.005Z

Rehearsals start tomorrow for This concert will fall in love with you. Getting really excited about the fruits of this collaboration with Matthew Pollard. Tickets are now on sale.

Click the image to book online.

A Guernsey Double

2010-03-25T12:07:00.000Z

Delighted to say that my book with Richard Fleming has received an endorsement from the Guernsey Arts Commission. Additionally Edward Chaney, who is the literary executor of G.B.Edwards, who wrote the best novel about the Island ever, has agreed in principle to write a short introduction for us.

Richard and I are now in the last throes of making sure our material is up to scratch.

Denys Corbet

2010-02-02T15:16:00.001Z

Richard Fleming and myself went to visit Joan Ozanne who is a mine of local information about local culture. She showed us an old book called Les Feuilles de la Foret/Les Fieilles d’la Fouarêt/ The Leaves of the Forest) by Denys Corbet, published in 1891. Richard and I had a quick thumb through, and there was some interesting content.

Wikipedia has some useful information on Denys Corbet giving his dates as 22 May 1826 – 21 April 1909). Corbet described himself as the Le Draïn Rimeux (The Last Poet). He is best known for his poems, especially the epic L'Touar de Guernesy, a picaresque tour of the parishes of Guernsey and Les Feuilles de la Foret (The Leaves of the Forest) among others. Contemporary Canadian artist Christian Corbet is a cousin of Denys Corbet. A forthcoming biography by Christian Corbet is currently being written.

Also this new site The Official Website of Denys Corbet appears to be being created.

Corbet wrote in Guernsey French, French and English - rather like Métivier, his older contemporary.

Here is the opening to an amusing poem called Beards.

Ho! all ye sons of froth and smoke,
Who daily to the eyes must soak
In reeking lather that might choke
Old Nick, thus smeared :
Come, hear me sing, ye smooth chinned folk
My theme's the beard.

All ye who every morning mow
Crops that have no time to grow
Bid you but once the luxury know
Shown in my lyric,
You would your strops and razors throw
Where th'wise threw physic.

We children of the good old school,
Observing Nature's every rule,
Wear a long beard to keep us cool
In summer season,
And warm in winter--where's the fool
Can better reason?

BBC Guernsey

2010-01-22T09:33:00.005Z

Just a quick update. Will be in Guernsey next week and am due to crop up on the Jim Cathcart show on BBC Guernsey 27/01/10 after 11.10am, talking with my pal Richard Fleming about the Anthology of Guernsey and more.

Appointment with Venus

2010-01-20T15:24:00.000Z

My friend Catriona lent me this 1951 novel by Jerrard Tickell, an Irish novelist (1905-1966). Appointment with Venus was made into a film the same year, with a cast which included David Niven, Kenneth More, Glynis Johns and others, and shot in Pinewood Studios and on Sark. The story features an imaginary Channel Isle named Amorel, which appears to be a thinly veiled Sark.

Very much a product of its times, and seems sexist and in its reference to "seeing a coon show" in London, unacceptably racist. While Sark aka Amorel is portrayed as a backwater, with simple French speaking locals to add a bit of colour local. The plot revolves around an unlikely wartime scheme to steal a valuable pedigree cow called Venus from the island. Local girl and plucky love interest Nicola Fallaise accompanies Valentine Moreland and others on the rescue mission with predictable results. It is a surprisingly good escapist read however, if you fancy a bit of stiff upper lip brandishing wartime hokum.

Below a film poster for Appointment with Venus.

This concert will fall in love with you

2010-01-20T14:20:00.004Z

My collaboration with classical music composer Matthew Pollard is fascinating. Matt recently played me through parts of the first five variations. For me it was incredibly exciting to hear the music taking shape. It is full of delicious uncertainties. And it is quite humbling to hear how they interlace and enlarge on the words I've written. Even at this early stage, it is clear just how accomplished he is, and how this work will shine.

The venue for its "world premiere" (digging that!) is going to be on 12th, 13th and 14th May, at St Michael and All Angels Church in Brighton at 7:30pm. The audience capacity is a modest 100. Matt is assembling an eclectic mix of accomplished musicians, and I will be performing the words.

Naturally, we are also discussing how we were going to promote it, and I've come up with a look and feel Matt's happy with. Among normal listing routes (it will be part of the Brighton Fringe Festival) we'll also use facebook. I've not used facebook to promote anything before, so it will be interesting to test for myself how useful this medium is.

This concert will fall in love with you has an unusually audacious concept. We are going to give the listener the unique experience of listening to words and music that describe what it is to fall in love with them personally. It's weird and it's wonderful. Watch this space.

Island Madness

2010-01-05T15:30:00.000Z

Have just started to re-read Tim Binding's Island Madness, and I will upload a section to the Anthology of Guernsey site shortly. Again, and at the risk of sounding like a one trick donkey, a vastly more rewarding book about Guernsey than the Potato Peel Pie effort.

Its first chapter has stayed with me very clearly from when I first read it ten years ago, shortly after its publication. The opening section where a German plane flies over the south coast is beautifully written. But also this bit, which repeats the word concrete, which I find reminiscent of Dickens use of the word fog in Bleak House. The use of 'Him' to denote Hitler is also intriguing, like some sort of unnameable Antichrist, or Sauron figure in Lord of the Rings.

All through that winter men had been pouring in, onto the island: engineers from Belgium, skilled construction workers from France, men laden with theodolites and drills who bored holes and tapped rocks and drew their indelible marks in the sand. There seemed no end to them. Down in St Peter Port the harbour was jammed with trawlers and tugs and great floating cranes, their necks bent double in search of their prey; metal rods, barbed wire, timber, and cement – always cement, the essential dust of His creation, cement in the flat-bottomed barges which wallowed their way from Cherbourg, cement stacked twelve feet high on St Julian’s Pier, cement hauled round the island on the narrow-gauge railway built from Cherbourg, to be mixed and poured and moulded into the fertile shapes of war. A military chastity belt of His design had been fitted around the island’s most tender regions, so that like a jealous lord He could prevent any violation of His fresh, plump property. But still He wanted more: more concrete, more guns, more men. In all of Western Europe there was nothing that glittered in His mind eye more brightly than the Channel Islands. Inselwahn, they called it. Island Madness.

Compton Mackenzie and D.H. Lawrence

2010-01-05T15:27:00.001Z

Have been in touch with Stephen Foote of the Guernsey Society. We are going to link swap for the anthology site. Really usefully, Stephen sent me a link to D. H. Lawrence's "The Man Who Loved Islands". This story is new to me, and I have just read the introduction by Chris Jennings, who says that Lawrence:

"...was a friend of Compton Mackenzie who had met on the isle of Capri in 1925. Mackenzie objected that he had been used as a model for the character in Lawrence's short story. There are, indeed some similarities.

Compton Mackenzie lived on Capri from 1913 to 1920. He then bought the island of Herm and Jethou in the Channel Islands. After financial difficulties, he sold Herm and moved to the smaller island of Jethou in 1923. In 1925 he bought the uninhabited Shiat Isles near to Harrris in the Outer Hebrides, Scotland. He never lived there but did live on the nearby island of Barra, where he built a house. When Sir Compton Mackenzie died in 1972 he was buried on the island of Barra."

According to Wikipedia "Mackenzie at first asked Secker, who published both authors, not to print the story and it was left out of one collection".

When I was last at the Prilaux Library in St. Peter Port, I saw there was a good deal of Mackenzie material there, and I knew he had a connection with the island. But this is a great lead to follow up on both writers.

Re-reading Ebenezer

2009-12-05T15:46:00.001Z

Have begun re-reading The Book of Ebenezer Le Page by G. B. Edwards. This remains the best book ever written about Guernsey.

The book was published posthumously. Edwards' literary executor, Edward Chaney succeeded where Edwards had failed in finding a publisher. If, when Edwards sent it out, The Book of Ebenezer Le Page was given more than a second glance, it would have seemed hard to categorise: and publishers love their categories. The plot of The Book of Ebenezer Le Page meanders with the haphazardness of real life. An apparent lack of artifice which we can now see enhances the vivid reality of the characters.

It is also interesting to me that Edwards was in self imposed exile from the island for most of his life. He lived in London for many years and, after his retirement, lived in Weymouth instead of returning to Guernsey. There was some sort of family feud, and he had been disinherited. Weymouth was the port where the old mailboats Sarnia and Cesarea used to leave for the islands. So he was almost in touch.

Collaboration and trust

2009-12-05T12:23:00.007Z

This this morning I received the sound file from Matthew of the main theme of This concert will fall in love with you... A really exciting moment hearing the first musical ideas taking shape. The piece may be as long as 40 minutes long, with words and music interwoven. Already Matthew has articulated a beautiful uncertainty in the music, which is perfect for the concept.

I am also currently working closely with Richard Fleming in Guernsey on a collaborative poetry project, called A Guernsey Double.

A successful collaboration needs chemistry of course. But I am a great believer in practicalities too. The most basic of these is that you need clear areas of expertise. In my project with Matt the difference is obvious: music is Matt's domain, and words are mine.

One of the best things about having a background in a creative agency is that working collaboratively is second nature. As a writer I have usually been paired with an art director when tasked to dream up brands, or create campaigns or concepts. And this ping pong of ideas is, for my money, the most fun you can have in an agency.

Trust is the essential factor. When trust your partner, it is much easier to sacrifice your own idea when your partner comes up with a superior one - and know that they'll do the same for you.

When trust exists it means you can make what is being created more important than either of your egos. And that has to lead to better work in the end.

As a footnote, and I don't know if this is just one of my own foibles, I find it much easier to pitch work that I have worked collaboratively on. Knowing that it's not just me who thinks something's good, really helps when you are selling it into a client or, in the case of my current collaborations, when we set about promoting them to the public.

More glimpses of Mervyn Peake

2009-11-16T15:49:00.000Z

I have been reading more of Mervyn Peake, particularly Boy in Darkness and other stories which was edited by Sebastian Peake. All the stories were new to me, and it is beautifully produced with more than 40 illustrations by Peak too.

There is one story in it called I Bought a Palm Tree, about a man called John who lives on Sark sending to Guernsey for a palm tree for his garden. Almost nothing happens in the story, though it is told in an amusing way. There is a charm about it however, which is entirely Peake.

"It all started one morning on the island of Sark. There was something in the air that day, a spicy, balmy something, almost tropical in itself though heaven knows I was thousands of miles away from the isles of the spices, humming-birds and turtles. But I breathed deeply and I longed. I longed. What for? I didn't know at first, but I knew it must be for something that was a part of my childhood. A symbol I suppose."

Also been looking at Peake's poetry, and skimming over it for material which is explicitly about Sark. I will add Snow in Sark to the Anthology site. But this little poem also caught my attention.

Sark; Evening

1
From the sunset I turn away
To the sweep of a steel bay.

2
The lonely waters are grander far
That the red and the gold are.

Being Brian Eno

2009-11-09T07:03:00.002Z

A few years ago I read a book by Brian Eno called A Year with Swollen Appendices. This made a big impact on me. Not only do I think he is an interesting man, who makes amazing music, and has a thoughtful approach to culture. He also has fascinating friends, and I envy his ability to zoom about the world being involved in a variety of projects, in different media.

For me this book was a tremendously aspirational vision. And I wanted my life to be a tiny bit more Brian Enoish.

Lately I have been going around lately saying I have more projects than Brooklyn, few people laugh at this excellent joke. But that's not the important thing. I think I've edged a fraction towards Brian Eno territory, and it makes me feel very happy. Here's a snapshot of some of my current activities:

Working with London agencies. In the last six weeks I have worked with Gray Healthcare and RAPP London, and WalkdontWalk.

Pitching my children's novel Skelton Yawngrave in the Second Kind of Darkness. Cart before the horseishly, this could morph into something that appears on Internet radio. A pilot has been made and pitched, and I await the outcome with interest. The children who have read it love it (as do many of the adults).

Creating an anthology of literature for Guernsey. I'm kicking this off as a website first, but has been hampered by absurd computer problems. Curse you Vista!

Working on a two man poetry collection with the excellent Guernsey poet Richard Fleming.

Embarking on a music and words project with composer Matthew Pollard. This very much a journey into the unknown for me, and so is very exciting. We will stage this as part of the Brighton Fringe in an event entitled This concert will fall in love with you.

Of course is there a long way to go. But the variety enlivens the creative work I undertake commercially. When nothing feels stale, and every day is brings something different to think about, who could ask for more?

Mervyn Peake in Sark

2009-10-23T15:53:00.000+01:00

I have been looking at some of Mervyn Peake's work, and there is a great site here, run by his son Sebastian Peake. I emailed Sebastian to ask for permission to use one of the photos on The Anthology of Guernsey site. Sebastian says this picture is of his father "at work writing Gormenghast in the conservatory of our house on Sark, Le Chalet, in the late 1940s".

I was also interested to learn that Peake had lived near Warningcamp near Arundel. I have walked around the country round there several times, and looking over the river Arun towards the castle is a view which must have informed the creation of Gormenghast.

Image of Mervyn Peake in Sark by kind permission of the Mervyn Peake Estate. The other image is one I took a while ago inside Arundel Castle.

Goats and ghosts

2009-10-20T15:59:00.001+01:00

Last night added a story to the Anthology of Guernsey website about La Biche, by Freda Wolley which was broadcast in the eighties on BBC Radio Guernsey, about the legend of the giant ghostly goat.

La Biche happened to live very close to where I stayed as a child in La rue des Grons, St Martin. I remember being distinctly sped up by my Guernsey Grandfather walking past a particular corner of that road at night.

Let me state as a fact that Guernsey can feel very spooky at night. This is reflected in the folklore and supernatural tales that about in the island. And is certainly what Victor Hugo picks up on for his story the Toilers in the Sea.

It is no coincidence that court records June 1550 to July 1649 reproduced in These Haunted Islands by Chris Lake, show that 111 people were tried for witchcraft in Guernsey. As Maris De Garis says in Folklore of Guernsey:

"It is often stated by the sceptical, as an excuse for unbelief, that tales of supernatural manifestations are only hearsay happenings, several times removed from the listener. However, in Guernsey it does not need a lot of investigation to discover instances of of these occurrences at first hand, experienced by the very people who relate to them. Perhaps the close inter-relationship, inevitable within the confines of a small island, conduce to a tendency of psychic awareness uncommon in people living in a larger-land mass."

George Métivier and the Crapauds

2009-10-16T16:05:00.000+01:00

Into the Guille-Allès Library at St Peter Port a couple of days ago, to photocopy a few poems by George Métivier.

The Guernseyman George Métivier (1790-1881) was apparently known as the "Guernsey Burns", and was the 'national poet' of the island. He also prepared the first Dictionnaire Franco-Normand, the first dictionary of Guernsey French. He wrote fluently in Guernesiaise, French and English. One of his poems which caught my eye was Aux Crapuads. For channel island folks, a poem addressed to the Crapauds can be inflammatory, as it is what Guernsey people call Jersey folk.

Aux Crapuads

Salut, nos chers cousins, honorables crapauds!
Lentement vous rampez ; en êtes-vous moins beaux?
Que d’amis indulgents, ce n’est pas qu’ils vous flattent,
Admirent vos grands yeux ! ils brillent, ils éclatent,
Et votre robe humide aux reflets enchanteurs
Plaìt à l’homme éclairé, séduit les amateurs.
Même dans vos crachats, âme sublime et pure,
L’heureux naturaliste admire la nature,
Et l’altière Jersey, mère qui vous nourrit,
Balance en main, vous pèse ; ah ! comme elle sourit !
D’allégresse les mains à St. Laurens on frotte,
Et l’île boit rogomme à l’honneur de CHARLOTTE.
Que de baudets chez nous ! que de jolis badauds !
Vive à CÆSAREA la danse des crapauds !

I gave the text to a good friend Ken Goodwin, who specialises in translation of old French texts, including lately works by Mably. I took his version and made a few tweaks for flow, and produced this first version.

To the Crapauds!

Greetings to our dear cousins, the honourable toads!
Slow you crawl, though are you any less beautiful?
Don’t indulgent friends always flatter you?
Admire your great eyes ! they sparkle,
And your sodden clothes have an enchanting shiny sheen,
To delight the enlightened man, and seduce lovers.
And even when you’re gobbing, soul sublime and pure,
The naturalist will admire you as wildlife,
And haughty Jersey, the mother feeds you,
Balance in hand, weighs you; Ah! How she smiles!
With lightness of touch, one strokes St. Laurence's hands,
And the isle drinks itself silly in CHARLOTTE's honour.
What donkeys there are here ! What lovely loafers !
Long live the dance of the toads in CÆSAREA !

The original text had the word bandets, which Ken didn't recognise, and thought was a misprint for baudets which means asses or donkeys, which makes sense as this is what the Crapauds call Guernsey people. But I have to check if it is a Guernsey French word. Also I still have to find out about St.Laurence's hands, and why Jersey folk would drink to Charlotte's honour.

Richard Fleming and Jane Mosse

2009-10-11T11:10:00.000+01:00

Have just seen Richard and Jane for the second time in a short visit to the island (which co-incided with my birthday). We met for coffee in the afternoon as we seem to drink lots of wine when we meet up. In fact one of our first meetings, which with three poets (and my mother) in the room, was so liquid that Richard broke a couple of ribs lurching about in his bedroom afterwards.

Both Richard and Jane fit into the Discovered Islands section of the Anthology of Guernsey, and both have agreed to let me use some of their poetry on the site. Jane's career as a poet is burgeoning lately with an excellent international competition result, while Richard and I have been reading each other's work off and on for years.

They are both very supportive of the project. Jane is sending me some work soon, but in the meantime here is a lovely poem of Richard's.

FUNERAL AT TORTEVAL

The heart beats now a mourning drum
behind the coffin held aloft.
Head bowed, you step, back ramrod-straight,
blue light, through stained-glass, falling soft,
from the black car beyond the gate
into the congregation’s hum.

Grief carves a beauty in your face
or highlights what was there before,
unrecognised: you seem to shine,
to have become not less but more,
while others’ faces, at this shrine
to gracefulness, lack any grace.

The hedgerow birds, today, seem dumb
as one by one the black cars leave:
you by your crumpled father’s side,
comforting him, holding his sleeve,
so full of elegance, dry-eyed,
with redefined years still to come.

Too much information

2009-09-25T17:18:00.006+01:00

Lately I have been through a rash of writing material for patient support programs (or programmes when I'm writing UK based ones).

In the last two and a half months, and in no particular order, I have written about heart attacks, reheumatiod arthritis, hepatitis A and B, high cholesterol, ankylosing spondylitis, psoriatic arthritis, and osteoporosis. And in the last week or so I have been called in to work on a pitch about erection problems. (I have the dubious honour of being an expert in this field, having written much of the UK patient support programme for Viagra when at my former agency.)

Trouble is I am also a hypochondriac. Last year I had to write a website about glaucoma and eye diseases, and by the end of that process I was unshakably convinced my vision was ruined. This August I definitely "had" reheumatiod arthritis too. It's diabolical pain that as a writer I should have do endure these Job-like afflictions just to earn a crust.

The problem is that I have to empathise with the people who are reading what I write, or I can't do it properly. I have to learn all their symptoms, and private horrors. I have to read their blogs, understand how the treatments work, and what they're most afraid of. When writing about a particular treatment for macular degeneration, for example, I vividly imagined what it's like having injections into the eyeball, and then what it must be like becoming accustomed to experiencing this "painless" injection.

So far, touch wood, I'm free of erection problems. I'll keep you posted.

Reneé Monamy and a message in bottle

2009-09-16T16:13:00.000+01:00

If anything symbolises my interest of the Anthology of Guernsey project, it is finding Reneé Monamy's limited edition book Guernesey, mon île... Guernsey my island... which was a bilingual collection of some very nice poems indeed. I found them in the Guille-Allès Library in St Peter Port. The book was dedicated to the people of Guernsey. It was published in the 80s, but in the back there was an invitation to contact her.

Intrigued, I decided to send a postcard to this address, even though the chances of her still living there were remote. In my personal blog under anothersun I mentioned that I had sent her a card. Some time later, I received an email from Reneé, who had not got my card but instead had stumbled across her own name in my blog. Since then Reneé has also sent me two copies of her book, which was translated by Kenneth V. Bailey, and is very keen on being included.

I love this idea of reaching out to people who have contributed to the writing about Guernsey over the years. Many of us who had done so have felt until recently that we were dropping stones into a well, and never hearing a plink.

Choking on potato peel

2009-08-09T15:43:00.000+01:00

Just finished The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Ann Shaffer (and completed by Annie Barrows) and I am trying to work out why it makes me grind my teeth.

I can see why the book has done so well. As an epistolary novel, it is easy to read, and there is no sense of the heart-sinking and foreboding that some people get with long, dense chapters. Also making it partly about an occupation book group (which feels like an anachronism to me) was a great wheeze, in terms of raising its profile in today's book groups.

It's an undemanding read, skating unconvincingly over the surface of the occupation, romance, and even the horrors of Nazi labour camps.

But there is no sense of real Guernsey people or their turns of phrase or ways of speaking. The material is clearly the product of laborious if sometimes inaccurate research. Such as when, for example, people are surrounded by Luger sporting Germans soldiers. (What, they were all officers then?)

I did not care what happened to any of the two-dimensional characters. Surely the point of setting it somewhere - anywhere - is to give it a distinct flavour? But again, following what seems to be a long tradition going back to Geoffrey of Monmouth, when the action moves to Guernsey, it appears as a blank backdrop.

What I do like about it, is that it is raising the profile of Guernsey, and getting people curious about the island. But if you want to read a novel set in Guernsey which is worth reading, read The Book of Ebenezer Le Page by G.B. Edwards, which is incomparably better. While Tim Binding's book Island Madness is vastly better written book about the occupation.

Literature in Guernsey - an untold story

2009-08-06T15:37:00.003+01:00

I have been working towards creating an Anthology of literature about Guernsey, as I believe the island's best kept secret is its literary tradition.

I think there are three sources of this literature. The first that written by Guernsey people about their own island (such as G.B. Edwards The Book of Ebenezer Le Page). The second would be derived from those who have discovered Guernsey (such as Victor Hugo) and the third would be literature of the Guernsey diaspora - the work of exiles.

Literature about the island has never been collected with imagination and authority. Thankfully there have been heartening artistic initiatives on the island in the last year or so, which have begun to offer more stimulus to Guernsey’s cultural life.

The current wider economic uncertainty means that Guernsey’s tourism industry may become even more important. I've proposed to Guernsey Arts that an imaginative and professional anthology of Guernsey literature could be a real asset to the island, and have long term benefits for Guernsey as a whole.

Here’s why:

Guernsey already captures the imaginations of people around the world. For I have been using Twitter in the last few weeks to search for mentions of Guernsey on the Internet. More than half of what is being said about Guernsey, in this planet-wide snapshot, was about the recent novel The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer. Literature is a window on the world for the island.
Literature about Guernsey is a great untapped natural resource. To visit a place, you first have to visit it in your imagination. If successful, an anthology of Guernsey literature could stimulate tourism and support the local economy. As this anthology aims to include material from people of the Guernsey diaspora, which makes it a book stuffed with reasons to visit or revisit the island.
Literature about Guernsey is an uncharted region. This anthology should contribute both arts and education in Guernsey. Having an idea of what got us to this point culturally will help the Island move forward with a clearer sense of its own identity.
There’s never been a better time to express Guernsey’s vitality and culture. At a time of globalisation, it is vital to retain Guernsey’s unique selling points. Until now its literature is a tool which has not been employed.

Signs thus far have been positive. Watch this space.

Meeting Guernsey Arts Commission

2009-08-05T13:00:00.000+01:00

Went to Guernsey in June and had a meeting with the Guernsey Arts Commission, about creating an Anthology of Guernsey writing. Liked the Chairman Tony Gallienne right off the bat. The meeting was inconclusive, but they were encouraging.

I spent a couple of hours in the Priaulx Library where I met Amanda Bennett, the Chief Librarian, who took time to show me an extensive collection of books, all of which have some tenuous connection to Guernsey.

She told me a few things right away I didn't know, such as PG Wodehouse went to school here, and that Samuel Coleridge-Taylor the composer had performed on the island. And that Edmund Keane the nineteenth century Shakespearean was pelted with vegetables in St Peter Port. Spent a happy couple of hours with my nose in dusty tomes. A venerable place, busy with people tracking down old stories from the Guernsey Press, and tracing their ancestors.

Then to the Guernsey Museum, which is a matter of a few yards away. Here I met Guernsey's switched on Museums Director Jason Monaghan. Interesting chat with him. He also gave me a signed copy of a self-published book written under his nom de plume Jason Foss called Islands that never were. After a brief look at The Three Garnsey Women Martyred by the Papists {Anno 1556}. Jason has let me know subsequently of a Dr Who novelisation set in Guernsey too.There is rich ground to be covered.

Already receiving a good deal of help and advice from the excellent Catriona Stares of the Commission, and Richard Fleming and Jane Mosse, notable poets resident on the island.

Creating an anthology for Guernsey

2009-06-30T19:41:00.006+01:00

So to catch up on recent activity. I returned from a short trip to my former home of Guernsey recently where I presented to the Arts Commission, who were interested in the project.

So I am shortly about to kick the project off, and have bought AnthologyofGuernsey.com for a song.

While I was over, I spent a couple of hours in the Priaulx Library where I met Amanda Bennett, the Chief Librarian, who took time to show me an extensive collection of books, all of which have some tenuous connection to Guernsey.

She told me a few things right away I didn't know, such as PG Wodehouse went to school here, and that Samuel Coleridge-Taylor the composer had performed on the island. And that Edmund Keane the nineteenth century Shakespearean was pelted with vegetables in St Peter Port. Spent a happy couple of hours with my nose in dusty tomes. A venerable place, busy with people tracking down old stories from the Guernsey Press, and tracing their ancestors.

Then to the Guernsey Museum, which is a matter of a few yards away. Here I met Guernsey's switched on Museums Director Jason Monaghan. Interesting chat with him. He also gave me a signed copy of a self-published book written under his nom de plume Jason Foss called Islands that never were. After a brief look at The Three Garnsey Women Martyred by the Papists {Anno 1556}. Jason has let me know subsequently of a Dr Who novelisation set in Guernsey too.

There is rich ground to be covered. Already receiving a good deal of help and advice from the excellent Catriona Stares of the Commission, and Richard Fleming and Jane Mosse, notable poets resident on the island.

Empathy and blagging

2009-06-25T19:54:00.003+01:00

When I have taught writing, I have often stressed the importance of empathy.

First comes the notion of empathising with the reader. What is it they want to get out of your communication. Facts? Entertainment? And if you are writing some sort of DM how can you make the experience of reading easy, and responding simple.

No writer can experience everything they have to write about. If you are writing fiction, you may have to inhabit a character of a different sex. And as a copywriter you will be constantly called on to write about things you have never experienced. Empathy is an essential tool, and I've found being a dismal hypochondriac, for example, surprisingly useful when I write direct to consumer healthcare material.

In the last couple of weeks I have been writing press ads for regions of France I've never been to. But empathy still proves a useful tool. For although I've never been to this particular region of France, what I can empathise with is the excitement people feel when contemplating a holiday. In doing this I can write copy that seems completely authentic, and of course this is what sells.

My most proud moment, in this respect, was in writing several brochures for Renault Trucks. As a lifelong non-driver, whose only experience of taking the wheel is in funfair dodgems, the account management team were careful to protect me from probing questions.

The feedback from the client, which I will always treasure, was that "This guy knows trucks." Horrifically, however, after this I was invited to sit in the driving seat of one of their new trucks. Mercifully, after some blagging on my part, I was led away without having to reveal my laughable inability to drive. The Gods of copy were kind that day.

Literature in Guernsey - an untold story

2009-05-15T09:22:00.008+01:00

I have been working towards creating an Anthology of literature about Guernsey, as I believe the island's best kept secret is its literary tradition.

I think there are three sources of this literature. The first that written by Guernsey people about their own island (such as G.B. Edwards The Book of Ebenezer Le Page). The second would be derived from those who have discovered Guernsey (such as Victor Hugo) and the third would be literature of the Guernsey diaspora - the work of exiles.

Literature about the island has never been collected with imagination and authority. Thankfully there have been heartening artistic initiatives on the island in the last year or so, which have begun to offer more stimulus to Guernsey’s cultural life.

The current wider economic uncertainty means that Guernsey’s tourism industry may become even more important. I've proposed to Guernsey Arts that an imaginative and professional anthology of Guernsey literature could be a real asset to the island, and have long term benefits for Guernsey as a whole.

Here’s why:

Guernsey already captures the imaginations of people around the world. For I have been using Twitter in the last few weeks to search for mentions of Guernsey on the Internet. More than half of what is being said about Guernsey, in this planet-wide snapshot, was about the recent novel The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer. Literature is a window on the world for the island.
Literature about Guernsey is a great untapped natural resource. To visit a place, you first have to visit it in your imagination. If successful, an anthology of Guernsey literature could stimulate tourism and support the local economy. As this anthology aims to include material from people of the Guernsey diaspora, which makes it a book stuffed with reasons to visit or revisit the island.
Literature about Guernsey is an uncharted region. This anthology should contribute both arts and education in Guernsey. Having an idea of what got us to this point culturally will help the Island move forward with a clearer sense of its own identity.
There’s never been a better time to express Guernsey’s vitality and culture. At a time of globalisation, it is vital to retain Guernsey’s unique selling points. Until now its literature is a tool which has not been employed.

Signs thus far have been positive. Watch this space.

Sustainable Southwark

2009-05-06T19:58:00.003+01:00

Recently talked to Mary Morrisson Head of Sustainable Services at Southwark Council. I've been doing a series of interviews with local sustainability gurus. Our discussion was mostly about recycling - Mary told me that only five years ago, only 3% of waste was recycled in the borough. Having already exceeded their National government targets, they have now set themselves an incredibly ambitious ultimate target of 50%, which would put them at the forefront of recycling in the UK.

Last year, a 25 year contract was awarded to Veolia Environmental Services to build state of the art facility, to sustainably deal with all Southwark’s waste. There will also be a mechanical biological treatment plant at the old gasworks site on the Old Kent Road. This deals with mixed waste – separating out recyclable materials such as metals and glass. The biological element removes moisture from the waste, before breaking down the organic, biodegradable components by composting or anaerobic digestion to produce soil improver or bio gas for fuel.

Southwark also has the largest social housing stock in London. Much of the effort has been in actually ensuring people who live in multi storey accommodation are able to recycle too.

The regeneration of the Elephant and Castle area too is a massive project, which will cost in the region of £36m. They are aiming for a zero increase in carbon emissions despite a 270% increase in floor space. And there are plans to supply green water, as well as employ renewable energy sources and combined heat and power.

A very likable interviewee, with a lot on her plate by the sound of it. I'll link to the piece when it's published online.

Sarah Tanburn interview

2009-04-03T12:15:00.001+01:00

The text of my interview with Sarah Tanburn can be found here.

Diane Padgett's red nose

2009-03-16T16:29:00.006Z

This photo is of my friend Diane Padgett is from the Construction News site.

Diane has a study which overlooks the South Thames construction site in London. Recently having attended a course by the poet John Hegley, Diane told me that one day she decided to pen a poem about the driver of the crane she found herself watching every day.

Most people would have left it at that. What really impresses me about Diane, however, is that she approached the company, BAM, to ask them if she could read her poem to the crane's driver on Red Nose Day. BAM readily agreed, and after she done a reading of her poem, she was then hoist into the sky (rather her than me). Here's coverage on the BAM site.

Not only did she - quite literally - raise her profile as a writer, being photographed in a cradle high above London, but she also helped to raise money well into four figures for the good causes supported by Red Nose Day. And quite rightly BAM received positive publicity too. Everyone wins. Simple but brilliant.

WH Auden famously wrote in his poem In Memory of WB Yeats "For poetry makes nothing happen". This is something I have never agreed with. Diane made something happen with her poem, by working out how to use it to create an interesting event that generated money for good causes.

Diane's poem...

My Lofty Friend

I watch him from my window
All day long - my hero!
Remote, aloof, remaining
Even when it’s raining.

I see him from my study
And wish he was my buddy.
His jib is cut precisely,
He swings it, oh, so nicely
In arcs almost balletic.
He’s just so, oh - kinetic.

But way too far above me.
How can I make him love me?
I’d signal, wave a banner,
Go out and buy a spanner –

Or lob him a hot dinner?
That might be a winner.
It’s all so very tiresome.
I could go out and hire some
Enormous blooming ladder.
Could anything be sadder?

A girl can get impatient
While gazing from her casement.
Oh, come down to my level
You manipulative devil.

Nancy Tait: a fighter for justice

2009-03-01T22:23:00.012Z

Heard an obituary today on BBC Radio 4 for Nancy Tait who died at the age of 89. She was a fierce campaigner to have the victims of asbestosis and other industrial diseases compensated, and the conditions themselves recognised. Her husband had died prematurely of asbestosis, and this sparked an indefatigable campaign which dominated the rest of her life. It was strange to hear a recording of her voice, which I'd not heard for over 20 years.

I worked with Nancy Tait for about four months in the eighties as a researcher for the Society for the prevention of asbestosis and industrial diseases in a tiny cramped office in Cuffley Hertfordshire. In some ways Mrs Tait was a formidable woman, and her expectations for her few underlings were rather Dickensian. I worked for next to nothing, and when I asked, Oliver style, for a pay rise to bring me up to poverty levels, she replied rather witheringly "I never realised you were ambitious." In my twenties this seemed to me to be an example of telescopic philanthropy. From Mrs Tait's perspective the fight was everything.

This aside I had absolute admiration for her achievements. I told her this at the time, and discovered that such flattery, however sincere, made her uncomfortable.

She was already over retirement age when I worked with her, and she was tall and strong with her grey hair tucked back in a businesslike bun. She crackled with tireless energy, taking on major corporations almost single-handedly. She lobbied and cajoled Unions, MPs, Business people, lawyers and many others. She also taught herself the minutae of complex medical conditions such as pneumoconiosis and mesothelioma, and somehow managed to acquire an electron microscope... Among her honours, she was rightly awarded the MBE a few years ago.

A driven fighter for people who were in extremis, Nancy Tait campaigned for justice, and the prevention of future deaths in the face of stiff opposition and even ridicule. Many owe an enormous amount to her without realising it.

She is someone I will never forget. And hearing the news of her death reminds me that it is often the people who spark contrasting emotions in you are those who teach you most about yourself. Even after all these years I have enormous respect for Nancy Tait and her achievements.

freelancers, slump-juggling and reputation

2009-02-23T14:50:00.008Z

I'm increasingly hearing stories of extensive redundancies among former colleagues in various agencies. News that can put the willies up you if you work freelance. So far, however, I am relieved to say that I have actually had more work than ever. A sample of one is meaningless of course, but when people are reluctant to hire full-time staff it's logical to think this could be opportune time for freelancers.

Obviously being able to network well is essential, and thanks to networking sites and the Internet this is easier than ever. A glib truth I was happy to parrot until my friend Anton pointed out that you can do all the networking you like, but unless it is accompanied by some kind of reputation it is unlikely to be successful. Anton works for IBM, who of course have traded on their reputation for generations.

This no time for smug complacency of course, but remaining optimistic is the only realistic option. And at the risk of sounding like something out of the I Ching, it's worth remembering that times of change always present opportunities too.

Sarah Tanburn and snowy Merton

2009-02-10T11:04:00.008Z

I recently interviewed Sarah Tanburn who is Director of Environment and Regeneration at the London Borough of Merton. I was fascinated by what Sarah told me about the relationship between travel links and the ability of an area to thrive. There is a correlation between poverty and being far from public transportation in London. I'll post a link to the interview when it goes live.

Also it was an interesting time to meet her. It was 5pm on the Friday of a week which had seen record amounts of snow. She had overall responsibility for the environment, and thus the snow, in the Borough. It must have been a tough week. She reminded me of her hardworking team who had to grit roads all night and other staff who turned up to keep essential services going, even not immediately obvious services, such as gravediggers. For Southern England this kind of weather is now quite freakish, and we're simply not as geared up for it as Scandinavia, or even Scotland.

impartiality and the BBC

2009-01-26T08:33:00.008Z

Just listened to an interview with the mealy mouthed director general of the BBC Mark "the corporation cannot be seen to support one view or another of the conflict" Thompson. The BBC's usually justified claims for impartiality were in reality upheld by John Humphrys. Thompson's evasions and blatant inconsistencies revealed in this interview were frankly an embarrassment. The BBC, as Humphrys pointed out, is constantly broadcasting charity appeals. Thompson was unable to provide a convincing reason why this one was different. What was he hiding?

The situation in Gaza is a political minefield into which this blog will not stray. But I'm certain that the children picked injured from the rubble will have little or no understanding of its political niceties. A clear flag that the appeal from the Disasters Emergency Committee of 13 charities wasn't necessarily the BBC's line would have been enough. Its evasions are simply not good enough.

UK Department of Health, change 4 life campaign

2009-01-19T21:47:00.007Z

There's a lot I like about the change 4 life campaign. It is deliberately childish and non-threatening - but stealthily delivers quite a hard message about the obesity timebomb. And its strapline of eat well, move, live longer is direct and no nonsense.

It use of animation eliminates the that doesn't look like me syndrome - and appeals to everyone. The much loved Tony Hart died just a couple of days ago, and his Morph figure was clearly the model for these primary coloured characters, which lends the commercial a vague familiarity to its UK audience.

You're driven to a website by "search online for change 4 life" which was a good way of replacing a URL too. On the site, you have to register before you get too far. Obvious pitfalls are avoided, and it isn't over gimmicky. Pleasingly it doesn't play the fear card too strongly, and instead focuses on what can positively and realistically be done.

I'm interested to hear how successful this campaign is.

Below Morph, and the change4life ad.

Poems on the Buses, Guernsey

2009-01-09T07:51:00.006Z

I lived in Guernsey as a child. It is my spiritual home which I still visit at least once a year.

Recently there has been a mini artistic revolution. Last year local writers have been encouraged to come out into the light, and have their work published in an initiative called Pens & Lens. This activity, much of which has been driven by Catriona Stares and local poets like Richard Fleming has lately resulted in poems on the buses.

It is so heartening to see this for all kinds of reasons. I published an inflammatory article about arts on the island about fifteen years ago (text here) challenging local people to be more proud about their culture. This was an item I deliberately designed to be galling.

These latest initiatives are nothing to do with me, of course, but I am really pleased to see them.

They have used several of my poems over the year. The one below is on the bus, and was written when I was 22. It is nice that a love letter I wrote to the island a long time ago has had this brief afterlife.

Below a poem on a bus. Click to enlarge.

A NatWest turkey, Smirnoff, and some predictions for 09

2008-12-23T14:34:00.006Z

My most hated ad of the year: the scene is a Liverpool branch of NatWest where customers find themselves being offered "Money Sense"advice on managing their budgets by pleasant down to earth staff. Yep, this is the same NatWest that's owned by RBS -- who as early as August were revealing the then biggest loss in banking history of 1.2 billion. So these utter bankers whose gross irresponsibility has helped create the current financial turmoil are, through NatWest, now offering us helpful advice on how to tighten our belts and be sensible.

NatWest are hiding behind their frontline staff, who are normal folks just like us, and trying to rebrand themselves as a commonsense outfit, and nothing to do with the masters of the universe bankers who lost contact with financial realities a long, long time ago. Worse, if you happen to be a customer, this patronising crap is followed-up by an intrusive SMS campaign, which sends vacuous unrequested advice to your own phone.

See that ad here.

My favourite ad: a seaman drops a little Smirnoff Vodka into the Channel, and ghosts of lost ships, and downed Spitfires surge up to the surface. While the ad may not not send you rushing to the nearest offie, it has a poetic visual symbolism that lingers in the memory.

My prediction for 09: recession will see marketing folks spending smarter, and making fewer TV ads. There will be more activity online - expect to see more viral films on the internet, where people can gain lots of coverage for little spend. There will also be a back-to-basics focus on things like direct mail and door drops. Clients will demand agencies prove their spend on TV ads to be worth it. So we'll see more prominent phone numbers and website addresses being touted on our TVs more - because responses to these can be measured, allowing the agencies to justify their costs.

Argos petrol station ad

2008-12-09T14:05:00.003Z

The Argos ads are works of some cunning. For only the British could love Argos, which is like shopping reinvented by the civil service. The faffing with smeary catalogues, hobbit ballpoints and forms; the baleful queues eyeing the struggles of temporary seasonal staff with increasing tetchiness... It's what British Christmases are made of. These ads, however, are brilliant. For of course focusing on the actual purgatorial horror of the Argos shopping experience is clearly not a starter.

Instead they have the sheer gall to ridicule alternative shopping options. So in one we have the idea that you might like your presents wrapped. The absurdity! Or, in the latest one for the Argos online store, that the only possible alternative to cyber faffing is to raid a petrol station at midnight on Christmas eve. It works though, by thunder. The casting is excellent, and the colours all drained of vibrancy. And perfectly topped off with the Elizabeth Duke twinkle of Stephen Fry's voiceover. One of the best examples of turning a weakness into a strength you'll see.

I love this

2008-11-21T08:55:00.004Z

I've copped this from this lovely blog the sound of butterflies. But I love it. Anybody who makes a living from writing knows what this feels like. Dylan Moran is splendid.

Diabetes. Beware the silent assassin

2008-11-06T23:54:00.013Z

This image is from the new Diabetes UK campaign. And I loathe it. I've been walking past a 48 sheet of it in Brighton for several weeks. The line is Diabetes. Beware the silent assassin.

Of course I understand why the charity went for scare tactics with a diabetes epidemic looming. Type two diabetes is not taken seriously enough. It's a dangerous condition too, which if not appropriately treated significantly increases the chance of a stroke or heart attack. I'm sure the agency have done a good job in meeting the brief they were given. And I don't doubt the sincerity of this effort...

But I hate it.

Why? Because it ignores basic psychology and employs the wrong-headed assumption that you can scare people into changing their behaviour. Remember all those years of anti-smoking campaigns? Made everyone give up smoking right? Er...

Who of us, at risk of diabetes or living with diabetes, will want to be portrayed as a prone victim? Instead this imagery is more likely to send people into denial -because it dramatises the fear, rather than the solution. In short it paralyses rather than empowers.

If the intention of this campaign is to motivate people to find out if they are pre-diabetic, or have diabetes, then is this really the way forward? All it tell us is that diabetes is more horrible than you think; that diabetes = sudden death.

And creatively speaking: the "silent killer" approach is very well worn. There are many asymptomatic (silent) diseases which are life threatening if left untreated, such as hypertension and high cholesterol. To really shock people you need to be original.

For my money, the most original advertising of this sort for many years was the incredibly successful oozing fat anti smoking ads by The British Heart Foundation back in 2004. It was unforgettable, and made the connection between arterial fat and smoking in a shocking and original way.

But I think this was the exception. The imagery for the Diabetes UK campaign just doesn't surprise us, or make us see something we are familiar with in a new way.

I think Diabetes UK would be better served by a campaign that shows how you can stand up to this silent killer - and dramatises the solution.

And for the escalating number of people in the UK who have just been told they have this chronic medical condition, it is not helpful at all. The first step to regaining control of your life, and lessening the fear, is to understand what positive steps can be taken.

Not to be portrayed as a lifeless, prone victim.

On drugs again

2008-11-06T17:26:00.010Z

I'm in the middle of lots of healthcare work right now. One project has been to create a patient support programme for diabetes patients for a healthcare agency in London. The other is working directly with a pharmaceutical client to revamp a large patient website. My twitchiness about client confidentiality prevents me from naming names at this stage however.

I fancy myself an authority on copy tone - especially when it comes to writing to people who have medical conditions. Not only have I had years of experience in this field, but I am a terrrible hypochondriac. This unhealthy ability to empathise with people who are in dire health straits is something that's paid off for me since working for an asbestosis charity many years ago. Talking to people dying of mesothelioma every day makes it hard to stay objective and removed.

Here are two golden rules for writing to patients.

Don't talk to people as if they were walking medical conditions. It sounds obvious, but there are frequent offences against this. You have to talk to the whole person, who just happens to have condition X. People are much more interested in their own lives than they are - say - in the finer points of cholesterol production in their liver.
Show people how they can succeed. The advice you give them must be practical. If you can point to some quick wins, or things that they are already doing well, living more healthily will not be seen as an impossible aspiration, but rather something they are already beginning to do.

Pooran Desai and Kia Colbeck interviews.

2008-10-26T21:13:00.005Z

My piece on Pooran Desai OBE, Technical Director of One Planet Living and Co-founder of BioRegional can be found here.

And the piece on Kia Colbeck, Croydon's queen of sustainability is here.

Waitrose Autumn TV advert

2008-10-14T15:02:00.006+01:00

So, call me a purist... But let me get this right. Some copy donkey saw fit to edit the first stanza of To Autumn by John Keats. And got Roger McGough, who should be ashamed of himself, to do the voice over, and seamlessly blend Keats into "enjoy all the delicious flavours of Autumn now. At Waitrose".

The first line "Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness!" is left dangling. In post production someone removed rhythm, meaning and scansion, to let in a bit of music and linger over the visual cliches. But I am forgetting myself. This is to sell Waitrose not a dead poet.

So let's waft a bit of Golden Brown by the Stranglers into the mix, while the banal film shows us fruit and veg (mellow fruitfulness geddit). It's like, uh, leaves are golden brown, so the music seemed a good idea.

Yep that's Golden Brown, which in Hugh Cornwell own words, is "about heroin and also about a girl... the song was about how my girlfriend and heroin both provided me with pleasurable times. The third verse is more about the feelings you have when taking heroin. When you smoke it or snort heroin you can still feel it in your body the next day." (The Stranglers Song by Song p. 215).

Nice. Great going. Not often does an TV advert manage to trample on two works of art at the same time. Way to go Waitrose.

local radio

2008-10-02T13:56:00.007+01:00

So I toddled off to talk about male childlessness to Allison on the Allison Fearns show on BBC Sounthern Counties radio. Her show is very chatty and fluid, responding to daily news items and mixes gossip with more informative stuff, and she is a good broadcaster.

It's all very casual of course, when you turn up you are bundled quickly into studio, and then you're out again. Time management is obviously vital for them. And I represented a walking half an hour of content. I was ready to chat with an idea I had put forward to discuss, and I really enjoyed myself doing it.

It was a good reminder that there are lots of local radio shows all over the place looking for content. So if you have your own business, it is well worth proposing you talk about your area of expertise on the radio. It's a good way of creating awareness in what you do, and getting your name known.

I'm on the radio

2008-09-30T09:10:00.003+01:00

I will be on BBC Southern Counties Radio Tomorrow Wednesday 1st October, talking about childlessness. on the Allison Fearns show. Probably be on a little after 2.00PM UK time, which is GMT +1.

For a live stream click through here.

Pooran Desai and One Brighton

2008-09-15T11:42:00.005+01:00

Interviewed the sustainability pioneer Pooran Desai OBE last Friday, and attended the opening of the zero carbon One Brighton development, which it is claimed is the most sustainable housing development in the UK - and possibly the world. His One Planet thinking informed its development. And it is fantastic.

Having had the tour, and done the interview and watched Deputy Mayor Carol Theobald do the ribbon-snipping honours. I found sustainability runs through the development like lettering in a piece of Brighton Rock: from the building materials (e.g. using the greenest concrete in Britain with 100% recycled aggregate) to the fact the dining chairs in the demonstration apartment were made from recycled computer games consoles.

Importantly the way the place is managed is a massive differentiator, linking it to local food suppliers and fuelled by local sustainable woodchips. It's a product of not only carefully placing a building in a town, but in its wider ecological and ethical context too. Even the on-site builders have been eating organic food.

I found talking to Pooran genuinely inspiring. In a nutshell his concept is that if everyone on Earth consumed as much as the average UK citizen, we’d need three planets to support us (for a US citizen it would be six). One Planet Living® aims to create a world in which people everywhere can lead happy, healthy lives with their fair share of the earth’s resources.

Go here for more. I'll link to my interview with Pooran as soon as it is published. But if you get the opportunity, you should check it out for yourself.

Gilbert Shelton and Fat Freddy's Cat

2008-09-14T20:27:00.008+01:00

Popped into Dave's Comics in Brighton, where the legendary Gilbert Shelton was signing books. Or rather drawing in them, and then signing. I was there to score a copy for my pal Anton. I really enjoyed talking to Gilbert as he drew the Freak Brothers in the Freak Brothers Omnibus book jacket for me.

I told him that when I was at university I'd engaged in competitions of trying to draw Fat Freddy's Cat, and thought the secret was in the nose. He said that if you looked carefully you could see the cat looked different in every picture. He told me he got the idea of Fat Freddy's cat from an old cartoon called Mutt and Jeff, which had a spin off strip called Cicero's Cat. He also said that for him the drawing wasn't as important as the story.

A very nice man, who took time to talk, and a privilege to meet him for a couple of minutes.

Below Gilbert Shelton drawing the Freak Brothers in the book. And the result.

Croydon - a river runs through it

2008-09-07T07:25:00.006+01:00

Croydon always reminds me of returning from a holiday. For me it represents that moment when you are back to London and its realities. You've flown into Gatwick, and after ten minutes of countryside, the train pushes into East Croydon station with its views of soulless 1960s office blocks, and you know that the grey indifferent city lies beyond.

I did an interview there recently with Croydon's head of environment and sustainability Kia Colbeck. Her enthusiasm for the place and the initiatives that she is helping to push through there really impressed me. And one thing they are going to do is open up the river Wandle again. This is one of London's many rivers, most of them now diverted underground, which flows into the Thames at Wandsworth. In Croydon, the river was culverted from 1840 after outbreaks of typhoid and cholera. Opening it up again now is a lovely idea.

In Croydon they are also pulling down some of the worst of the 1960s stuff, and increasing pedestrianisation, requiring local building developments to be more sustainable, and encouraging local businesses and its citizens to be greener.

It is a symptom of Croydon becoming more human. It is very heartening, and I came away feeling differently about Croydon after meeting Kia.

the good agency

2008-09-05T12:59:00.001+01:00

Just spent the best part of the week working at The Good Agency close to Waterloo station in London.

As a freelance writer working in agencies from time to time, you get to take the temperature of an agency quite quickly. What I saw of The Good Agency lived up to its name: a friendly, well run outfit, with its heart in the right place - producing some excellent creative work for ethically sound clients. Kind of renews your faith in agencies really.

protesting too much

2008-09-01T12:18:00.007+01:00

Not often you get to talk to a leading contemporary poet for a couple of hours, about your own work. I went to a one-to-one poetry Surgery with Brendan Cleary who was looking at my manuscript, and offering a critique. It was a very valuable experience. And it has been a long while since another writer has given me a detailed critique of my craft.

I came out pretty well from this masterclass, but there are things that Brendan reminded me of which are blindingly obvious when pointed out. The use of adjectives being one of these.

There is a fine line between flatness, and floridness. Calling a spade a spade, and not a worn, wooden handled rusty spade is often preferable. By over describing things we can actually limit how something is envisaged. Everyone has a picture of a spade in their heads, and by over describing it you can actually kill this ideal spade and replace it with one much less convincing.

For a commercial copywriter there is a correspondence too: when something is overpraised, you begin to wonder why. Desperately flapping about to try to make things seem more enticing can actually have exactly the opposite effect. Ultimately it's all to do with assertiveness. Seeming too desperate to sell is a major turn off - and maintaining a sense of proportion is vital to prevent your copy collapsing into absurdity.

Gus Christie Glyndebourne piece

2008-08-11T16:53:00.003+01:00

Here's my piece on Gus Christie for ON TRACK. A very nice man he was too.